Lent will be over on Easter Sunday. This is the first year of my entire life that I have actually stuck with abstaining from something throughout the duration of Lent. I decided I wanted to do it this year, because I wanted to have a tiny glimpse of what Jesus went through when he was in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights and was tempted by Satan. Tiny, tiny glimpse, I know.
I thought I would have cheated by now, to be honest. Why? Because I'm weak. You might laugh when I tell you that I gave up french fries. For some of you, it would be easy peasy to not have those. But not for me. I luuuuuuuv me some french fries. It's been hard, because it's a comfort food for me when I'm stressed. Pretty much any time we've eaten out, my eyes get a little glazed over before I order something else. Some restaurants I've had to not go to, because I know I wouldn't have the strength to not get the fries (5 Guys, Burger Stand). Assuming I don't have a total melt down over the next 3 days, I'll make my goal and for the first time, know what it's like to give something up and stick with it.
It means more to me this year. In previous years, when I participated in Lent, it was because I wanted to see if I could do it. And then, when the first temptation came around, I've give in, shrug my shoulders, and say oh well, maybe next year. But this year I wanted to reflect on what God gave up-his only son - because he loved us SO much that he wanted us to live forever with Him in his kingdom, and this was the only way we could all be forgiven for our sins. I gave up french fries. It doesn't even scratch the surface of what God went through, but that's okay, because I'm doing this to strengthen my understanding of how great our God is and how big His love is for us because he substituted the death of his son for us.
Over the past few weeks, I've learned a lot about my relationship with God and how it's okay to admit I need His strength to get me through the things that tempt me most...like food cravings for things that aren't beneficial for me, that put that craving ahead of my desire to be obedient to Him. When I first began reading Made to Crave, the author says that we can pick whatever healthy eating plan works for us. For her, it was cutting out all carbs and sugar because she wasn't strong enough to have them in moderation at the beginning of her journey. I read that part a month ago and felt like, well, good for her. I could never do that. I just like my bread WAY too much to do that!
My amazing friend Tiff is doing something similar. She's gone through one month of no bread, and at first I thought the same thing. You go, girl. I'll be over here in the corner, nursing a french baguette. I'm not trying to put words in her mouth, but I have to imagine at some point she's been tempted by a carbalicious beauty, and had to ask God to get her through that moment. Willpower only takes you so far, you know?
But God's will power is everlasting. Even if we have to ask meal by meal, I've learned in this time of sacrifice during Lent, that it is okay to admit that I can't do this alone. That I have to lean on God to get me through a moment of weakness. And if I do, He'll help me. He'll distract me long enough with prayer, bible study, or powerful music to get my mind off of the temptation. If I'm in a restaurant, He'll show me healthier choices. He'll give me a partner who's willing to change his own eating habits so that he doesn't tempt me by eating fries in front of me (nevermind that I threatened bodily harm if he did....) He'll give me friends who understand and offer to walk with me as a form of catching up on the week, instead of going out for food.
I'm not saying I'm giving up bread. But my perspective has changed. If I wanted to, I could. I didn't believe that before Lent started. I didn't think I could even make it with french fries, and yet, here I am. I just need to remember to take this whole healthier living thing day by day, meal by meal, and ask God to help me out when my logical brain says be healthy and my stressed out brain says MARGARITA NOW.
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