Hey peeps-thanks for all the love about my last post. I didn't write it to make you all cry, so apologies for that! It was just one of those things I needed to get out, to get those memories written down so I can go back to them anytime I want. Definitely was an act of healing for me.
Lots of reading happening. Just thought I would share a few quotes that have been on my mind this past week. One "topic" if you will that has been on my mind is the cycle/decision of self-victimization. I have some friends who have been through some incredibly awful abusive situations. It's not my place to tell their stories but they amaze me, truly and honestly. The love for God and people they have, in spite of everything they've gone through, is an inspiration for me to get up each day and live my best life. On the flip side of that, I have some people in my life that seem stuck in their identification as a victim, and part of my heart breaks for them, and the other part desperately wants them to be able to see how their choice to remain fixated on the past is paralyzing them from moving on. Without sticking my nose into other people's business, all I can say is that I'm sure it's something they have to be ready to move out of before they can make peace with their past, forgive, and learn to enjoy the present moment. I want that for everyone who's having trouble letting go of old hurts-even if they go down super deep.
"Either we can be victimized and become victims, or we can be victimized and rise above it. Often it is easier to play the victim than take off our masks and ask for help. We get comfortable with our victim status. It becomes our identity and is hard to give up. The Israelites often played the victim card, and I love what God finally tells them, "You have circled this mountain long enough. Now turn north" (Deuteronomy 2:3). Turn north! It's time to move on! Self-pity, fear, pride, and negativity paralyze us. Taking off our masks takes courage, but if we don't do it, we will remain in our victim status and end up stunted."-Ruth Graham, in Made to Crave
Granted, that part of the book is talking about breaking free of the cycle of unhealthy eating habits when hard times hit, but I think it can be applied to any type of situation where something happened that we're unable to move forward from. If this is you, whoever you are reading this, I want you to know that no matter what happened in your life, you CAN move on if you give that pain to God. When you forgive, you don't have to trust the person who wronged you, or let them into your life again. You just acknowledge that they don't have a hold over you anymore and that they don't owe you anything to make up for what they did. Because let's face it, if it's a deep, deep, hurt, they'll never be able to make it up to you completely. But God can give you peace and help you move on and enjoy life again. Jim Cymbala, the pastor at Brooklyn Tabernacle, agrees with me (bet he didn't know that, haha). But I was reading this part of Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire last night and it all clicked together so nicely, I can't help but to share it.
"None of us can afford to blame the past indefinitely. Look at Joseph, the young man whose brothers sold him into Egyptian slavery. After being framed by Potiphar's wife, thrown into prison, and forgotten...when he finally married and had a son, he named him Manasseh, which means "to forget". He said, "It is because God has made me forget all my trouble and all my father's household" (Gen. 41:51). God is more powerful than anybody's past, no matter how wretched. He can make us forget-not by erasing the memory but by taking the sting and paralyzing effect out of it."
This is my prayer for anyone reading this that may feel uncomfortable by what I've just written, because it speaks to you. "God, I pray that you help whoever is reading this and sees their own pattern of self-victimization within these quotes. Whatever awful thing happened to them, it was not their fault, but by choosing to remain fixated on it, they are stuck in that spot and can't truly feel the amazing peace you give when we trust in you. I pray that they start to understand that their identity is so much more than a victim of abuse, and that they take a next step to get help in order to forgive. I know it will be hard, and I am not diminishing the things that happened to them, but I pray that they will let go of that cycle if it's keeping them from living a healthy life. I want them to have joy in their lives again, the kind of joy that happens once we live our lives according to your purpose. Please help them see that you are with them, now and always. In your heavenly name I pray, amen."
That's about all the deep thoughts I have for tonight. Time to watch Extreme Couponing.
very well put, kelly! GO NORTH :)
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