I guess I needed an unintentional blog break! The past couple of weeks have been super busy. Besides celebrating the birth of new life with our friends and loving on their baby girl, we visited Michael's grandma in Topeka, wore ugly Christmas sweaters, and traveled to NC to visit with family and friends. We didn't get to visit as many of our friends as we would have liked, due to Michael contracting a stomach bug, people being out of town, and a snow storm that dumped 8 inches on Raleigh. But we kept busy. We went to dinner with some of my mom's old coworkers, had a bridal shower for my sister, went shopping, made my mom's recipe for cinnamon rolls (well, Lyndsay did-I taste tested. :D), visited our favorite restaurants, and had tons of quality time with our family.
We opened presents at my dad's house on Christmas morning, continued the celebration at my aunt's in the afternoon, and ended at Michael's mom's house with a yummy dinner, laughter, and more gifts. We were blessed beyond imagination. I received place settings of my china, a gift card for a canvas print, a keurig machine, some beautiful jewelry, but really, the best part was being able to be home. Sunday was my mom's birthday, and that was difficult, but I'm glad we were all home together to remember her. I think the snow was really special-it doesn't often snow in Raleigh, and especially not that much. It was like she was sending us a message that she was doing something special for us. We went shopping at the mall-one of the things she LOVED to do after Christmas-drank sweet tea, her favorite, and watched movies. It ended up being a good day.
So tomorrow marks the last day of 2010. What a wild ride this year has been. I don't think I've ever had so many highs or lows. I really feel like it's been a roller coaster. I can't say I am sad to see 2010 go, though. I'm excited to see what 2011 has in store. I don't think anything could top the emotional low that losing mom brought, so 2011 will be off to a good start. Excited to see where God plans to take me this upcoming year.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Happy birthday to the newest member of the DesLauriers family
I'm trying my hardest to go to sleep, but I'm SO EXCITED! I know I haven't done a proper blog update in a couple of weeks, so I will try to do a rundown of what's been going on in a day or so. But today is a really awesome, special day. My good friend Anna is having her baby girl RIGHT.NOW. I mean literally....right now. I cannot WAIT to meet her little one, find out her name, see what she looks like, hold her, tell her how many people love her.
Teeny babies are so sweet and I am thrilled for Anna and Tom, and their little boy Treyton, who gets to be a big brother really, really soon!
Teeny babies are so sweet and I am thrilled for Anna and Tom, and their little boy Treyton, who gets to be a big brother really, really soon!
Portion Control, Part 2
1. Purchase cheeseburger, fries, and milkshake from fast food institution of choice.
2. Proceed to consume french fries and approx. 1/3 of milkshake.
3. Get distracted by shiny object (tv show, youtube video, whatever you like) and leave cheeseburger on plate.
4. Decide 30 minutes later that you really need a shower RIGHT THIS MINUTE.
5. In shower, remember you still have 1/2 your dinner to eat.
6. Get out of shower, walk to kitchen, but discover cheeseburger wrapper on the floor in the living room with contents mysteriously gone.
7. Find culprit.
2. Proceed to consume french fries and approx. 1/3 of milkshake.
3. Get distracted by shiny object (tv show, youtube video, whatever you like) and leave cheeseburger on plate.
4. Decide 30 minutes later that you really need a shower RIGHT THIS MINUTE.
5. In shower, remember you still have 1/2 your dinner to eat.
6. Get out of shower, walk to kitchen, but discover cheeseburger wrapper on the floor in the living room with contents mysteriously gone.
7. Find culprit.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Best weekend
Oh man. Best weekend I've had in a long time. Dad was here to spend Thanksgiving with us and we had a great time with him. We had fun shopping, watching movies, eating (oh man...I need to eat salad for the next week to counteract all the amazing food we had the past 3 days), talking, walking Penny, driving through KC to look at the lights, and just hanging out. It was really relaxing and makes me even more excited for Christmas, when we're back in NC for a week. I haven't been back since May and am really itching to go back.
So Thursday was pretty low key for us. Michael smoked our turkey on the grill, using an apple juice/cranberry juice marinade. It turned out amazing. Really moist and tender, and full of flavor. Smoking the bird is the way to go! Our Turkey day spread also included cornbread and sausage stuffing, fresh green beans with craisins and bacon, homemade jellied cranberry sauce, homemade rolls, sweet potato with marshmallow topping, mashed potatoes, homemade gravy, and pumpkin and pecan pies for dessert.
The main event about 3 hours into cooking.
How cute are these? They were made from football molds and Alton Brown's recipe.
The tablescape. Wow, did I really say that? How very Sandra Lee of me.
No, my darling dog, you cannot have my plate.
After eating and giving our stomachs a little while to rebound, we headed out to Olathe to see the newest Harry Potter movie. I really enjoyed it. Dark, absolutely...but so is the book. I wouldn't mind seeing it again at some point before it goes out of theaters.
Friday we did a small amount of black friday shopping. We weren't among the brave (or crazy, depending on your viewpoint) going out at 3/4am. We waited until 9ish and still found some amazing deals. At Target I used some of my birthday money from my grandparents to get some Christmas decorative stuff, like pillows, a blanket, candles, bathroom towels, and...a light up flamingo with a Santa hat. Yeah. It's actually pretty cute! Michael and Dad waited in the car for me at Bath & Body Works...that place was more crazy than Target. But I made it out with a couple of candles and some foaming hand wash for pretty cheap.
After putting up all the Christmas decorations and a lunch of Thanksgiving leftovers, we drove out to Nebraska Furniture Mart. After some intense discussion and debating over fabric, style, whether or not a sectional would fit, etc., we chose a really comfortable blue/gray sectional for our living room. It has two sections that recline and I'm soo excited for it to arrive. It's being delivered on Thursday so we'll be sure to take pictures.
Shopping for couches is pretty tiring, in spite of the fact that you're sitting to test them out. We were pretty hungry by the time we left, so we headed over to Stroud's to try their famous pan fried chicken. This place has truly earned its amazing reputation and accolades. Theirs is the only cinnamon roll without frosting I will actually eat. It was SO good! The chicken and mashed potatoes were outstanding as well. We will definitely be adding this to our 'places to take visitors' rotation.
Today we hung around Lawrence until it was time to take my dad back to the airport. We took him to a Lawrence institution, Wheatfield's Bakery, and walked around Mass St and enjoyed the mild weather. Overall, it was so great to hang out with my dad, enjoy some good food, and have a little time off from work and the regular day to day life. So thankful for the opportunity to do that every once in a while!
So Thursday was pretty low key for us. Michael smoked our turkey on the grill, using an apple juice/cranberry juice marinade. It turned out amazing. Really moist and tender, and full of flavor. Smoking the bird is the way to go! Our Turkey day spread also included cornbread and sausage stuffing, fresh green beans with craisins and bacon, homemade jellied cranberry sauce, homemade rolls, sweet potato with marshmallow topping, mashed potatoes, homemade gravy, and pumpkin and pecan pies for dessert.
The main event about 3 hours into cooking.
How cute are these? They were made from football molds and Alton Brown's recipe.
The tablescape. Wow, did I really say that? How very Sandra Lee of me.
No, my darling dog, you cannot have my plate.
After eating and giving our stomachs a little while to rebound, we headed out to Olathe to see the newest Harry Potter movie. I really enjoyed it. Dark, absolutely...but so is the book. I wouldn't mind seeing it again at some point before it goes out of theaters.
Friday we did a small amount of black friday shopping. We weren't among the brave (or crazy, depending on your viewpoint) going out at 3/4am. We waited until 9ish and still found some amazing deals. At Target I used some of my birthday money from my grandparents to get some Christmas decorative stuff, like pillows, a blanket, candles, bathroom towels, and...a light up flamingo with a Santa hat. Yeah. It's actually pretty cute! Michael and Dad waited in the car for me at Bath & Body Works...that place was more crazy than Target. But I made it out with a couple of candles and some foaming hand wash for pretty cheap.
After putting up all the Christmas decorations and a lunch of Thanksgiving leftovers, we drove out to Nebraska Furniture Mart. After some intense discussion and debating over fabric, style, whether or not a sectional would fit, etc., we chose a really comfortable blue/gray sectional for our living room. It has two sections that recline and I'm soo excited for it to arrive. It's being delivered on Thursday so we'll be sure to take pictures.
Shopping for couches is pretty tiring, in spite of the fact that you're sitting to test them out. We were pretty hungry by the time we left, so we headed over to Stroud's to try their famous pan fried chicken. This place has truly earned its amazing reputation and accolades. Theirs is the only cinnamon roll without frosting I will actually eat. It was SO good! The chicken and mashed potatoes were outstanding as well. We will definitely be adding this to our 'places to take visitors' rotation.
Today we hung around Lawrence until it was time to take my dad back to the airport. We took him to a Lawrence institution, Wheatfield's Bakery, and walked around Mass St and enjoyed the mild weather. Overall, it was so great to hang out with my dad, enjoy some good food, and have a little time off from work and the regular day to day life. So thankful for the opportunity to do that every once in a while!
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Birthday :)
I decided earlier this year that I would not mope on my birthdays, especially not this year. Yes, it's my first one without my mom, and I miss her. But I don't think she'd want me to dwell on those sad feelings. She'd want me to have a good time and be joyful with my friends and family. So I did. Today, on my 26th birthday, Michael and I gave out cinnamon rolls to a few friends. We have 2 different recipes: his and my mom's. The ones he passed out today were his recipe, which is a copycat version of Cinnabon (aka enormous with a cream cheese frosting). We will make my mom's recipe over Christmas and give them out to friends, because my family always did that on Christmas Eve, after she'd spent all day making them from scratch. So I guess you could say having cinnamon rolls be a part of my birthday today reminds me of my mom, which keeps a piece of her and those happy memories close.
So to start off, I received these yesterday, which put me in a great mood, from my father in law and stepmom in law. The flowers will do double duty as a centerpiece for Thanksgiving. It was really sweet of them to send me flowers. I think every girl just loves to get flowers, even if it's a rare treat...just makes it that much more special.
Went to a nail salon with my friend Elizabeth and we got pedicures. It was a relaxing treat, and I'm glad I convinced her to go with me. I think we are going to see Burlesque on Sunday. Any Lawrencians reading this and want to come with, let me know...
Then I went to Target and bought Beauty and the Beast on Blu Ray...because the inner little girl in me will never go away. ;)
Came home and made my grandma's recipe for pecan pie (which is pretty much the same as the karo syrup bottle's recipe but don't tell her that. Haha.) It smells SO good in the house! Michael made homemade crescent rolls and cornbread. We realized halfway through that we only have one pie plate, so we improvised and put pie dough into muffin tins and will make pumpkin pie muffins tomorrow.
After baking we went to KCI to pick up my dad from the airport!! He is in town through Saturday afternoon. SO happy he is here. I haven't seen him since July and just love him to pieces. It will be another 6ish years before we have the opportunity to live in the same town again, and that is hard, but these visits are just the best.
We decided on steak for my birthday dinner, and after some fiddling around with yelp/urbanspoon, decided on Hereford House in Leawood. Oh. Em. Gee. It was amazing. One of the best steaks I think I've ever had. Pictures do not do it justice but I will post them anyway:
The shrimp came on a block of ice. Cool-literally. Har har.
Your standard steakhouse caesar salad and roll, but yummy nonetheless.
Steak Oscar...filet mignon with a crab cake, in a béarnaise sauce with asparagus and mashed potatoes. The steak cut like butter. I have leftovers...too bad tomorrow is Thanksgiving!
White chocolate bread pudding. So incredibly rich and decadent. I could only eat a few bites but it was delicious.
And the piece de resistance, better than any steak:
It's a Marc by Marc Jacobs Hillier Hobo bag. It's so soft...I can't get over how cute it is. My dad definitely spoils me, no doubt about it.
He also gave me a present from my best friend's mom, also known as "Mommy #2" throughout middle and high school (and now, haha). We collected all of the ribbons from the flower arrangements at my mom's funeral in March. She knew a local artist that makes ribbon wreath art and had 3 made for my dad, sister and I.
How awesome is this? I now have a physical keepsake of that day, of all of the friends and family that cared enough to be there, to send flowers to decorate mom's final send off from this life. I was too overwhelmed on April 3rd, her funeral, to really take in the amount of people that were there to celebrate her life. All I wanted to do was hide in a corner and bawl my eyes out until everyone left. But now I can remember, through this piece of art, just what a celebration it really was.
Anyway...26 is off to a great start. And I need to get to bed, because I've got a great day planned with my dad tomorrow...cooking, eating, parade watching, dog show cheering, napping, and Harry Potter! Happy Thanksgiving!
So to start off, I received these yesterday, which put me in a great mood, from my father in law and stepmom in law. The flowers will do double duty as a centerpiece for Thanksgiving. It was really sweet of them to send me flowers. I think every girl just loves to get flowers, even if it's a rare treat...just makes it that much more special.
Went to a nail salon with my friend Elizabeth and we got pedicures. It was a relaxing treat, and I'm glad I convinced her to go with me. I think we are going to see Burlesque on Sunday. Any Lawrencians reading this and want to come with, let me know...
Then I went to Target and bought Beauty and the Beast on Blu Ray...because the inner little girl in me will never go away. ;)
Came home and made my grandma's recipe for pecan pie (which is pretty much the same as the karo syrup bottle's recipe but don't tell her that. Haha.) It smells SO good in the house! Michael made homemade crescent rolls and cornbread. We realized halfway through that we only have one pie plate, so we improvised and put pie dough into muffin tins and will make pumpkin pie muffins tomorrow.
After baking we went to KCI to pick up my dad from the airport!! He is in town through Saturday afternoon. SO happy he is here. I haven't seen him since July and just love him to pieces. It will be another 6ish years before we have the opportunity to live in the same town again, and that is hard, but these visits are just the best.
We decided on steak for my birthday dinner, and after some fiddling around with yelp/urbanspoon, decided on Hereford House in Leawood. Oh. Em. Gee. It was amazing. One of the best steaks I think I've ever had. Pictures do not do it justice but I will post them anyway:
The shrimp came on a block of ice. Cool-literally. Har har.
Your standard steakhouse caesar salad and roll, but yummy nonetheless.
Steak Oscar...filet mignon with a crab cake, in a béarnaise sauce with asparagus and mashed potatoes. The steak cut like butter. I have leftovers...too bad tomorrow is Thanksgiving!
White chocolate bread pudding. So incredibly rich and decadent. I could only eat a few bites but it was delicious.
And the piece de resistance, better than any steak:
It's a Marc by Marc Jacobs Hillier Hobo bag. It's so soft...I can't get over how cute it is. My dad definitely spoils me, no doubt about it.
He also gave me a present from my best friend's mom, also known as "Mommy #2" throughout middle and high school (and now, haha). We collected all of the ribbons from the flower arrangements at my mom's funeral in March. She knew a local artist that makes ribbon wreath art and had 3 made for my dad, sister and I.
How awesome is this? I now have a physical keepsake of that day, of all of the friends and family that cared enough to be there, to send flowers to decorate mom's final send off from this life. I was too overwhelmed on April 3rd, her funeral, to really take in the amount of people that were there to celebrate her life. All I wanted to do was hide in a corner and bawl my eyes out until everyone left. But now I can remember, through this piece of art, just what a celebration it really was.
Anyway...26 is off to a great start. And I need to get to bed, because I've got a great day planned with my dad tomorrow...cooking, eating, parade watching, dog show cheering, napping, and Harry Potter! Happy Thanksgiving!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Weekend Roundup
Christmas is coming...oh joy...
Saturday
-Last growth group meeting for me & Tisha's walking group. Attendance has been pretty good overall...because it was such a big group it felt like we never had the exact same people each week, which was good and bad. I feel like I made a couple of new friends and at least was introduced to several new ladies that I'd like to get to know better. In the end, I'm glad Tisha and I took the plunge of leading a group. Our last meeting was at Ingredient, a restaurant on Mass St. Felt like an appropriate end to the Let's Get Physical chapter since our very first meeting was at Ten on Mass (in the Eldridge).
-Several hours later, Tisha, her adorable baby Sophia, Sue and I went to the Legends in KCK in order to go to TRex. TRex is a themed restaurant with lots of moving dinosaurs inside and outside of the restaurant, an exhibit where kids (and kids at heart) can dig for fossils, they have a meteor show every half hour or so...lots of things going on. Sophia is only 14 months so I think everyone knew we were going just 'cause we wanted to. I have no problem admitting that. I would totally go again, too. I think the fun meter would be amplified with elementary aged kids who would want to see all the different parts and go through the exhibit. The food wasn't too bad, either.
The dude with the teeth was the greeter.
This was our view from the "Ice Age" room. There were flying dinos, a meteor show, planets, stars, and more decorating the ceiling. The restaurant really was filled floor to ceiling.
Our dessert: fudge brownies with ice cream. Food makes us slower so the velociraptors have an easier time getting THEIR dinner. ;)
-Saturday night: food coma, movies with Michael, Suze Orman. Excitement x 10. ;)
-Sunday: Michael volunteered in the kids wing at EastLake. A weekly dose of adorable babies (and let me tell you, the moms & dads that attend EastLake do make adorable babies) is not doing me any favors at quieting his baby fever. He was telling me all about one Thanksgiving dress a little girl was wearing and how he wants to dress up our future little girl (if we have one) in things like that. Oy! Finish your orals and let me lose some weight, then we'll talk. :P
I'm inspired by the selfless generosity I see everyday through the members of EastLake. Whether it's helping a family who has lost everything from a fire, jumping in to take a member to the hospital, or just lending an ear to a friend that needs it...you guys rock.
-After we left, Michael told me he would be busy during the afternoon on Dec 5th. Dec 5th = EastLake 101 = membership class. My face: :D :D :D
-Sunday was my sweet little doggy's 4th birthday. We celebrated with a birthday hat, which she was not a fan of, and a birthday cheeseburger, which she most definitely enjoyed. Her new collar came in today and she modeled it like the diva she is.
The key to a good photograph is to smile like you mean it.
If looks could kill this one would be life ending for me.
-Wrapped up the evening visiting a friend who was put on modified bed rest at 29 weeks during her pregnancy. My stash of kids dvds is limited but I did manage to have a couple that she didn't have, so I hope they provide a good distraction. I know not being allowed to get up much is a total pain.
-And now, for something completely different: my friend Becca had mentioned an opportunity for people who blog to get a chance at earning 50 free holiday cards from the folks at shutterfly.com in exchange for writing a lil somethin' somethin' about how we use holiday cards. Well. My senior year of college I worked at Hallmark, which was a perfect fit because I love the holidays...even the made up "hallmark" ones. I really might be one of the few that actually enjoys sending cards. Michael and I were debating if we wanted to really cross the line into "those friends of ours who talk about their dog WAY too much" by making a photo card with Penny on the front. We determined we would decide when we saw the pictures Penny took with Santa at the Lawrence Animal Fair. One picture was just fantastic. So yeah, we're jumping the shark and diving into that category, with Shutterfly's help. If you're interested in taking a peek at their customizable Christmas cards, check 'em out here.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Bullets
-Did you know that the chicken salad at Jason's Deli has pineapple in it? Why did I not think of this?? It's AMAZING! Especially on a croissant.
-Things that make me feel better when I'm tired and/or cranky: fuzzy blanket, pumpkin spice candle, Love Actually. I'm actually breaking a rule of mine by watching it before Thanksgiving, but it's like my old familiar standby Christmas movie. 7 years later and that movie still makes me laugh out loud.
-Penny met Santa yesterday. She asked for a really big dog biscuit. REALLY big. Today Michael and I found a ginormous dog bone in the shape of a candy cane at Petco. We didn't buy it, but it was tempting. We did buy her a bone with 'filet mignon' coating. Life is pretty good for the pup, I must say.
-Tomorrow my growth group is having a pajama party. SO. EXCITED.
-Things that make me feel better when I'm tired and/or cranky: fuzzy blanket, pumpkin spice candle, Love Actually. I'm actually breaking a rule of mine by watching it before Thanksgiving, but it's like my old familiar standby Christmas movie. 7 years later and that movie still makes me laugh out loud.
-Penny met Santa yesterday. She asked for a really big dog biscuit. REALLY big. Today Michael and I found a ginormous dog bone in the shape of a candy cane at Petco. We didn't buy it, but it was tempting. We did buy her a bone with 'filet mignon' coating. Life is pretty good for the pup, I must say.
-Tomorrow my growth group is having a pajama party. SO. EXCITED.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Portion control
How to lose your lunch in 10 seconds:
1. Begin eating a bagel with cream cheese.
2. Get up from the table to go turn the dryer off-this takes about 10 seconds.
3. Leave the dog unattended.
4. Come back to find said dog with cream cheese all over her mouth and half your bagel mysteriously disappeared.
1. Begin eating a bagel with cream cheese.
2. Get up from the table to go turn the dryer off-this takes about 10 seconds.
3. Leave the dog unattended.
4. Come back to find said dog with cream cheese all over her mouth and half your bagel mysteriously disappeared.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Untitled and Long Winded
The past 24 hours have been really crazy. I feel like several people are speaking directly to me with their messages, whether they know it or not. A friend in a growth group once said that sometimes God needs a 2 x 4 in order for her to get His message...I sometimes feel like that, too. It's only when looking back at an event that I think, "wow...I can see so clearly what His design was. I just wish I had that clarity back in the moment!" Hindsight, I guess. Anyway, the "get a clue bat" has really come out this weekend.
I know I'm being vague, so let me clarify. Last night, as I mentioned in my previous blog, I spoke to my dad on Skype for a while. I love talking to him, but sometimes it can be hard. Not because I don't want to talk to him, but because he's one of the very few people that truly gets what it has been like the past 7 months without mom. We are brutally honest with each other, which can be cathartic, but also raw when the other person is having what we call "a moment". Don't get me wrong, I would be so very lost without the support of other family and my dear friends, my church, and my growth group ladies. But all the love and support in the world won't take away what happened. It helps me heal, for sure. But dad and my sister have that extra layer of understanding that no one else gets, unless they've been through it.
So after the Skype call, before bed, I was reading a few chapters in a book I'm reading for a group that meets on Tuesday nights. It's one of Anne Lamott's book's, called Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith. Until now I haven't related as well to this collection of stories as much as I did with her other book. But then I started reading a chapter called Untitled, which discusses her inner battle with getting older and reflecting on all the changes she's been through as she's aged. And even though I'm half her age, it was like she was speaking for me. This passage, in particular:
"If you haven't already, you will lose someone you can't live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and you never completely get over the loss of a deeply beloved person. But this is also good news. The person lives forever, in your broken heart that doesn't seal back up. And you come through, and you learn to dance with the banged-up heart. You dance to the absurdities of life; you dance to the minuet of old friendships."
I don't think I could put it any better than that. Our hearts are still in pieces, but slowly we are finding the glue to get it back together again. The glue is our family's dedication to be there for each other. It's my relationship with God. It's my friendships, my church family, my "sisters" in Lawrence who are so wise, so kind, and so tolerant of my craziness. And as messed up, maybe, as it sounds, I'm relieved that it doesn't have to be put back together again as perfectly as it was before it broke. I'm never again going to be the person I was when my mom was still here because a piece of me died with her. But on the other hand, a piece of her is still here with me, carried always in my heart. So when I begin to find joy in life again, she is with me.
The other passage from this chapter that basically was smacking me in the back of the head has to do with embracing life as we get older. I have to say, people complaining about their age has always been a small pet peeve of mine, ESPECIALLY women my age. You're moaning and groaning about turning 25?! You've barely lived! But anyway, it's only magnified since mom's passing. I don't want to get morbid, but the fact of the matter is this: tomorrow is not promised to us. You never know what could happen. Be grateful and THANKFUL for each and every day you get to be on this Earth. Even on Mondays. Only God knows when it's our time, but in the meantime, take the time you have to truly, passionately, LIVE. It just drives me crazy to see women (and I guess men, although I don't really have personal experience with men doing this) moping about their birthdays. [paraphrased from today's sermon at EastLake]: If you're healthy, if you have a job (even if you hate it), if you have a roof over your head, food in the refrigerator, a little money in the bank, and people who love you in your life, you are one of the most blessed people on the entire planet. For real. If you even woke up today, you're more blessed than the millions who died last week, and will this week. This is the passage that got me:
"I have grown old enough to develop radical acceptance. I insist on the right to swim in warm water at every opportunity, no matter how I look, no matter how young and gorgeous the other people on the beach are. I don't think that if I live to be eighty, I'm going to wish I'd spent more hours in the gym or kept my house a lot cleaner. I'm going to wish I had swum more unashamedly, made more mistakes, spaced out more, rested. On the day I die, I want to have had dessert. So this informs how I live now."
Basically...to borrow from my favorite broadway musical...forget regret, or life is yours to miss. So every year I age, I'm going to celebrate and embrace it. If I'm lucky enough to get to 80, or even 55 (which my mom did not see), there will be a freakin' fabulous party. I'm going to live it up for all the people that didn't get that chance, for as many years as is my time. And I will be grateful for each one. I know too many fellow banged-up, glued back hearts out there, dancing through life as best they can, and so for them, for my mom, for God, I will appreciate and always give thanks for the life I have, even when the glue comes undone every now and then.
I know I'm being vague, so let me clarify. Last night, as I mentioned in my previous blog, I spoke to my dad on Skype for a while. I love talking to him, but sometimes it can be hard. Not because I don't want to talk to him, but because he's one of the very few people that truly gets what it has been like the past 7 months without mom. We are brutally honest with each other, which can be cathartic, but also raw when the other person is having what we call "a moment". Don't get me wrong, I would be so very lost without the support of other family and my dear friends, my church, and my growth group ladies. But all the love and support in the world won't take away what happened. It helps me heal, for sure. But dad and my sister have that extra layer of understanding that no one else gets, unless they've been through it.
So after the Skype call, before bed, I was reading a few chapters in a book I'm reading for a group that meets on Tuesday nights. It's one of Anne Lamott's book's, called Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith. Until now I haven't related as well to this collection of stories as much as I did with her other book. But then I started reading a chapter called Untitled, which discusses her inner battle with getting older and reflecting on all the changes she's been through as she's aged. And even though I'm half her age, it was like she was speaking for me. This passage, in particular:
"If you haven't already, you will lose someone you can't live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and you never completely get over the loss of a deeply beloved person. But this is also good news. The person lives forever, in your broken heart that doesn't seal back up. And you come through, and you learn to dance with the banged-up heart. You dance to the absurdities of life; you dance to the minuet of old friendships."
I don't think I could put it any better than that. Our hearts are still in pieces, but slowly we are finding the glue to get it back together again. The glue is our family's dedication to be there for each other. It's my relationship with God. It's my friendships, my church family, my "sisters" in Lawrence who are so wise, so kind, and so tolerant of my craziness. And as messed up, maybe, as it sounds, I'm relieved that it doesn't have to be put back together again as perfectly as it was before it broke. I'm never again going to be the person I was when my mom was still here because a piece of me died with her. But on the other hand, a piece of her is still here with me, carried always in my heart. So when I begin to find joy in life again, she is with me.
The other passage from this chapter that basically was smacking me in the back of the head has to do with embracing life as we get older. I have to say, people complaining about their age has always been a small pet peeve of mine, ESPECIALLY women my age. You're moaning and groaning about turning 25?! You've barely lived! But anyway, it's only magnified since mom's passing. I don't want to get morbid, but the fact of the matter is this: tomorrow is not promised to us. You never know what could happen. Be grateful and THANKFUL for each and every day you get to be on this Earth. Even on Mondays. Only God knows when it's our time, but in the meantime, take the time you have to truly, passionately, LIVE. It just drives me crazy to see women (and I guess men, although I don't really have personal experience with men doing this) moping about their birthdays. [paraphrased from today's sermon at EastLake]: If you're healthy, if you have a job (even if you hate it), if you have a roof over your head, food in the refrigerator, a little money in the bank, and people who love you in your life, you are one of the most blessed people on the entire planet. For real. If you even woke up today, you're more blessed than the millions who died last week, and will this week. This is the passage that got me:
"I have grown old enough to develop radical acceptance. I insist on the right to swim in warm water at every opportunity, no matter how I look, no matter how young and gorgeous the other people on the beach are. I don't think that if I live to be eighty, I'm going to wish I'd spent more hours in the gym or kept my house a lot cleaner. I'm going to wish I had swum more unashamedly, made more mistakes, spaced out more, rested. On the day I die, I want to have had dessert. So this informs how I live now."
Basically...to borrow from my favorite broadway musical...forget regret, or life is yours to miss. So every year I age, I'm going to celebrate and embrace it. If I'm lucky enough to get to 80, or even 55 (which my mom did not see), there will be a freakin' fabulous party. I'm going to live it up for all the people that didn't get that chance, for as many years as is my time. And I will be grateful for each one. I know too many fellow banged-up, glued back hearts out there, dancing through life as best they can, and so for them, for my mom, for God, I will appreciate and always give thanks for the life I have, even when the glue comes undone every now and then.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
lazy Saturday
Today was a really great, relaxing Saturday. I got up early and went for a walk with my growth group. It was cold, around 29 degrees when we began our walk. But the crisp air felt rejuvenating to my lungs. I had to wear a sweatshirt and gloves, but that's okay. I walked a beautiful trail with a friend and felt renewed.
Then we decided to reward our good deed to our bodies by going out to breakfast. I actually had lunch time food...a chicken salad melt with a salad and breakfast potatoes. The food was tasty, but the company was the best part. Love these times of getting to hang out with girlfriends and truly just be myself...no pretenses, no trying to put up a fake front to please them. They think the real me is pretty okay...thank goodness.
Came home and played with the puppy. Took a nap. Watched Top Gun. Spent an hour on Skype with my Dad. Helped Michael give Penny a bath. Watched Suze Orman ( I love the Can I Afford It? section). And tonight we all get an extra hour of sleep!
It's these little things that can take up a day, where if I don't actively appreciate them, can float by and be categorized as meaningless. But they're definitely not. I appreciate these lazy Saturdays as a time to recharge, laugh, and give thanks for all that I have...even if that amounts to answering "not much" to the "what did you do this weekend?" question.
Then we decided to reward our good deed to our bodies by going out to breakfast. I actually had lunch time food...a chicken salad melt with a salad and breakfast potatoes. The food was tasty, but the company was the best part. Love these times of getting to hang out with girlfriends and truly just be myself...no pretenses, no trying to put up a fake front to please them. They think the real me is pretty okay...thank goodness.
Came home and played with the puppy. Took a nap. Watched Top Gun. Spent an hour on Skype with my Dad. Helped Michael give Penny a bath. Watched Suze Orman ( I love the Can I Afford It? section). And tonight we all get an extra hour of sleep!
It's these little things that can take up a day, where if I don't actively appreciate them, can float by and be categorized as meaningless. But they're definitely not. I appreciate these lazy Saturdays as a time to recharge, laugh, and give thanks for all that I have...even if that amounts to answering "not much" to the "what did you do this weekend?" question.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Good times
Have I mentioned how much I love my growth groups? Love, love, love. Last night was one of those nights I wish I could freeze and always go back to whenever I'm feeling less than normal. So many times I thought my sides would split open from so much laughter. I didn't get home until almost 11! I wonder if my hubby thought I was lost or something. ;)
It was a nice distraction from election night. Ebb and flow...politics is so cyclical that this wasn't all that surprising. Do I wish the American people would give change more than 2 years before having a knee jerk reaction? Yes. But I'm not surprised. Moving on...
At least prob B in MO passed. I am very happy about that. It's a bill requiring more regulation with puppy mills so that the animals can live in safer, cleaner conditions. Very happy about this! MO is one of the top producers, if not number one, of dogs from puppy mills and you all know how passionate I am about helping shelter animals. If puppy mill production were controlled with a lot more regularity it would help those dogs live in better conditions and decrease the population so that shelter dogs would have a better chance at getting adopted.
It was a nice distraction from election night. Ebb and flow...politics is so cyclical that this wasn't all that surprising. Do I wish the American people would give change more than 2 years before having a knee jerk reaction? Yes. But I'm not surprised. Moving on...
At least prob B in MO passed. I am very happy about that. It's a bill requiring more regulation with puppy mills so that the animals can live in safer, cleaner conditions. Very happy about this! MO is one of the top producers, if not number one, of dogs from puppy mills and you all know how passionate I am about helping shelter animals. If puppy mill production were controlled with a lot more regularity it would help those dogs live in better conditions and decrease the population so that shelter dogs would have a better chance at getting adopted.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Halloween
This weekend was just what I needed: quality time with my husband. I feel like since we're so busy during the week, him with school and me with work and group activities, it's important that we make time for each other whenever we can. Friday he showed his love for me in a major, major way. I was baptized by my pastor at EastLake's worship night. Worship night is basically a party for our church...lots of songs from the band, communion, and baptisms. He'd had a crappy day at school and had a rain cloud over him the entire day, but he still came because he knew it meant a lot to me for a family member to be there at my baptism. He still has some comfort issues with church in general, which is fine. I will never force him to come with me because that will be the quickest way to get him to completely shut down. I know that he sees East Lake as a pretty safe place, so I will just hope and pray that with time he will have some of those issues resolved.
The baptism itself was a full immersion. They had a big tub for us and in total, 21 people were baptized that night. It was really something special. I felt giddy as soon as I came up out of the water. I'm sure my pictures are ridiculous because I really couldn't focus and was just standing there with a stupid grin on my face. Oh well-I am sure they are used to that kind of reaction. :) I do wish my dad could have been there, though. Michael tried to take a video but the camera memory failed. Grrrr. My good friend Elizabeth and her husband were baptized right after me, which was so awesome. She said that my decision to do it helped HER make the decision to do it. How cool is that? You never know how your actions will influence someone else. Getting baptized was something I had wanted to do for a long, long, time...just never had the opportunity to figure out how to do it. I was never baptized as a child so this meant a lot to me, to make this public declaration at 25.
Saturday I walked 1.75 miles around Mary's Lake in Lawrence with my growth group. This group is exposing me to some amazing parts of Lawrence I never would have discovered on my own. It was so beautiful. The weather was perfect...chilly enough that we didn't overheat when we walked but not frigid. According to my heart rate monitor I burned 308 calories...which I took advantage of later that day. After the walk, Elizabeth and I got pedicures. Talk about heaven! I hope I can continue getting to know the amazing women in our group and have these mornings be a casual, fun place for us to get together.
Saturday afternoon, Michael and I went to see Paranormal Activity 2. It was definitely creepy, and had a few 'jumping in my seat' moments. Was it so scary that I had trouble sleeping? No. But definitely more eerie than a slasher horror flick. I used to dismiss these types of movies by simply not believing in supernatural activity. But I started thinking...if I believe in God, and in angels (which I do), and if I believe that angels can be on Earth...then wouldn't it stand to reason that the other side could be here as well? So that put a new spin on the movie, if you do believe that something paranormal like a demon could exist. I won't give away the plot of the movie, but after coming out of the theater, we are SO glad we don't have a basement. And that's all I'll say. ;)
This is why I needed to burn calories yesterday. Well, that, and the chicken tenders I had at the movie. It's a candy corn themed cupcake. Just white cake mix dyed orange and yellow, with homemade frosting and candy corns. I will be honest and say I wasn't too thrilled with the taste of the cake itself. I like a dense cupcake and these were really soft, the one I ate kind of crumbled. I hope that after they cooled overnight that they firmed up. I made these for the food table at church today. I mean, it is Halloween, after all. Gotta get in the spirit. ;)
So you can see the layers. Betty Crocker, I am not...but it was fun nonetheless.
Speaking of Halloween...that happens to be Michael's birthday! I think he had a pretty good, relaxing day. I let him open his presents early this morning...cards from me, my dad, his dad, his sister, my aunt, my sister, and my grandparents. His main birthday present from 'me' was a bunch of computer upgrades he did about a month ago, but I got him a little surprise: the Ocean's 11 trilogy. We love those movies and now that we've been to Vegas and the Bellagio, the first movie in particular is really fun. My dad went wild and got 15 dvd/blu rays from Michael's Amazon wishlist. I loooved his reaction when he opened the big box: "holy crap!" Love him. After I got home from church he sat with me in Panera while I had soup and we clipped coupons from the newspaper. We went to Target and get this: DIDN'T SPEND ANY MONEY. That is a major feat, friends. We wanted to look at their silver ware because I've got an itch to replace ours soon. We walked over to the Halloween section, which was being replaced with Christmas decor. Before you know it, they'll have that stuff out in the summer. We got some groceries for the week and have spent the rest of the day watching Apollo 13, Ocean's 11, a Robin Williams stand up comedy dvd, the Ghost Hunters Halloween special, and stopped only for dinner at La Parilla, a Latin/South American restaurant. I had a great time on his birthday, and I'm pretty sure he did, too.
SO, onward to a new week!
The baptism itself was a full immersion. They had a big tub for us and in total, 21 people were baptized that night. It was really something special. I felt giddy as soon as I came up out of the water. I'm sure my pictures are ridiculous because I really couldn't focus and was just standing there with a stupid grin on my face. Oh well-I am sure they are used to that kind of reaction. :) I do wish my dad could have been there, though. Michael tried to take a video but the camera memory failed. Grrrr. My good friend Elizabeth and her husband were baptized right after me, which was so awesome. She said that my decision to do it helped HER make the decision to do it. How cool is that? You never know how your actions will influence someone else. Getting baptized was something I had wanted to do for a long, long, time...just never had the opportunity to figure out how to do it. I was never baptized as a child so this meant a lot to me, to make this public declaration at 25.
Saturday I walked 1.75 miles around Mary's Lake in Lawrence with my growth group. This group is exposing me to some amazing parts of Lawrence I never would have discovered on my own. It was so beautiful. The weather was perfect...chilly enough that we didn't overheat when we walked but not frigid. According to my heart rate monitor I burned 308 calories...which I took advantage of later that day. After the walk, Elizabeth and I got pedicures. Talk about heaven! I hope I can continue getting to know the amazing women in our group and have these mornings be a casual, fun place for us to get together.
Saturday afternoon, Michael and I went to see Paranormal Activity 2. It was definitely creepy, and had a few 'jumping in my seat' moments. Was it so scary that I had trouble sleeping? No. But definitely more eerie than a slasher horror flick. I used to dismiss these types of movies by simply not believing in supernatural activity. But I started thinking...if I believe in God, and in angels (which I do), and if I believe that angels can be on Earth...then wouldn't it stand to reason that the other side could be here as well? So that put a new spin on the movie, if you do believe that something paranormal like a demon could exist. I won't give away the plot of the movie, but after coming out of the theater, we are SO glad we don't have a basement. And that's all I'll say. ;)
This is why I needed to burn calories yesterday. Well, that, and the chicken tenders I had at the movie. It's a candy corn themed cupcake. Just white cake mix dyed orange and yellow, with homemade frosting and candy corns. I will be honest and say I wasn't too thrilled with the taste of the cake itself. I like a dense cupcake and these were really soft, the one I ate kind of crumbled. I hope that after they cooled overnight that they firmed up. I made these for the food table at church today. I mean, it is Halloween, after all. Gotta get in the spirit. ;)
So you can see the layers. Betty Crocker, I am not...but it was fun nonetheless.
Speaking of Halloween...that happens to be Michael's birthday! I think he had a pretty good, relaxing day. I let him open his presents early this morning...cards from me, my dad, his dad, his sister, my aunt, my sister, and my grandparents. His main birthday present from 'me' was a bunch of computer upgrades he did about a month ago, but I got him a little surprise: the Ocean's 11 trilogy. We love those movies and now that we've been to Vegas and the Bellagio, the first movie in particular is really fun. My dad went wild and got 15 dvd/blu rays from Michael's Amazon wishlist. I loooved his reaction when he opened the big box: "holy crap!" Love him. After I got home from church he sat with me in Panera while I had soup and we clipped coupons from the newspaper. We went to Target and get this: DIDN'T SPEND ANY MONEY. That is a major feat, friends. We wanted to look at their silver ware because I've got an itch to replace ours soon. We walked over to the Halloween section, which was being replaced with Christmas decor. Before you know it, they'll have that stuff out in the summer. We got some groceries for the week and have spent the rest of the day watching Apollo 13, Ocean's 11, a Robin Williams stand up comedy dvd, the Ghost Hunters Halloween special, and stopped only for dinner at La Parilla, a Latin/South American restaurant. I had a great time on his birthday, and I'm pretty sure he did, too.
SO, onward to a new week!
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Food with Friends
Tonight was fun. Michael and I went over to a friend's house to hang out and have dinner. Her husband cooked an amazing pork tenderloin with some kind of sweet asian type of sauce and pineapple, with mashed sweet potato/regular potato mix, and apple pie for dessert. Good food, good times, and good friends...can't ask for anything more than that! Michael is already thinking of what he'd like to make for them as a way to return the favor. He is a great cook so I'm sure whatever it is, it will be yummy.
I also had chili from Sue, the leader of my Tuesday growth group, for lunch. I really could get used to meals from other EastLakers. They are all great cooks. And then there's me...lol. Oh well, at the very least I could whip up something sweet. I wouldn't call myself a terrible cook, I can follow a recipe and it will turn out fine. I'm just not very good at throwing things together. I am in awe of people who can just stare at their pantry and start experimenting, and have it turn out great. Michael and I plan our meals every Sunday before we go grocery shopping, so 90% of the time we know what we're eating for the week. The only way that changes is if one of us has a change in plans that would keep us out of the house during normal dinner hours, or we're too tired/lazy/etc. to cook. We are trying not to use this as an excuse. This past month has been pretty bad, eating out wise. We took a look at our bank account earlier and died a little bit on all the fast food/restaurant entries. So next month we have both resolved to really try to cut back on the spontaneous "I don't feel like cooking, let's get a pizza" moments. It's certainly not doing any favors for our weight loss efforts so it will be trimming two birds with one stone: our budget and our waist lines! Hopefully. :)
Less than a month away until Thanksgiving. Man am I excited. Not really for the food (although don't get me wrong, that will be fantastic) but because my dad will be here. I haven't seen him since July and I really miss him! He's the greatest. He flies in on my birthday on Nov 24th and will stay through that Saturday. I'm just a teensy bit bummed he can't stay through Sunday, so he could come to East Lake again...but ticket prices were so much higher to fly back on Sunday. Ya do what ya gotta do. Anyhoo...so there's that, and Michael's birthday is on Sunday! Halloween baby. :) I think it will be low-key. He wants to see a movie and have a cookie cake, and that's all I've been able to get out of him. But who am I to turn down cookie cake?
I also had chili from Sue, the leader of my Tuesday growth group, for lunch. I really could get used to meals from other EastLakers. They are all great cooks. And then there's me...lol. Oh well, at the very least I could whip up something sweet. I wouldn't call myself a terrible cook, I can follow a recipe and it will turn out fine. I'm just not very good at throwing things together. I am in awe of people who can just stare at their pantry and start experimenting, and have it turn out great. Michael and I plan our meals every Sunday before we go grocery shopping, so 90% of the time we know what we're eating for the week. The only way that changes is if one of us has a change in plans that would keep us out of the house during normal dinner hours, or we're too tired/lazy/etc. to cook. We are trying not to use this as an excuse. This past month has been pretty bad, eating out wise. We took a look at our bank account earlier and died a little bit on all the fast food/restaurant entries. So next month we have both resolved to really try to cut back on the spontaneous "I don't feel like cooking, let's get a pizza" moments. It's certainly not doing any favors for our weight loss efforts so it will be trimming two birds with one stone: our budget and our waist lines! Hopefully. :)
Less than a month away until Thanksgiving. Man am I excited. Not really for the food (although don't get me wrong, that will be fantastic) but because my dad will be here. I haven't seen him since July and I really miss him! He's the greatest. He flies in on my birthday on Nov 24th and will stay through that Saturday. I'm just a teensy bit bummed he can't stay through Sunday, so he could come to East Lake again...but ticket prices were so much higher to fly back on Sunday. Ya do what ya gotta do. Anyhoo...so there's that, and Michael's birthday is on Sunday! Halloween baby. :) I think it will be low-key. He wants to see a movie and have a cookie cake, and that's all I've been able to get out of him. But who am I to turn down cookie cake?
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Fall pictures
At the pumpkin patch on Oct 16th.
Our pumpkins, in our front yard. They will be carved this weekend!
Pretty mums that the pumpkin patch was selling. They had so many cute little halloween/fall decorations that I could have done some major damage with my wallet if I'd wanted to...but I resisted. :)
Taking Penny for a walk. The weather has been amazing the past couple of weeks....so much nicer than last October. Feels like a true fall instead of leaping right into winter. *knocks on wood for it to continue at least a little while longer*
Our next door neighbor's tree. Gorgeous, huh?
Fall has arrived in Lawrence...yippeee! Here's a list recap of everything I've been up to in the past week, including pictures:
-Growth groups started. I am really excited about the potential for all 3 I'm in. One is a smaller, intimate group studying an Anne Lamott book. I think this group will be full of laughter and good discussion. I'm hoping we'll all be able to open up and be real with each other. Second group is a crochet group, I think 15ish people were there last week. For this group I would like to get to know the people I haven't yet, continue cultivating friendships with the ones I do know, knit a decent looking scarf, and have some good discussions as well. Third group is me and Tisha's dog walking group, which is going to be rad. I can just tell from the group members. Our first walk is this Saturday!
-Michael and I went to the pumpkin patch this weekend with our friend Anna and her adorable little boy. We had a great time and came home with 3 awesome pumpkins. We will carve them this weekend, weather permitting I hope to sit outside on the deck in the fresh air.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Heaven on a Plate
If you live in Lawrence, and have not yet tried the fried chicken dinner at Wheatfield's, you are missing a true gem of this town. Made only on Wednesday nights, it is some of the best fried chicken I've ever had. They sell out super fast, so if you want to try it, you'll have to get there early. They were completely sold out when we left at 6:15.
It's a little piece of southern comfort in the midwest that makes my tummy and heart happy. :)
Whirlwind weekend
Wow...it's been a crazy few days. I'll try to do a short recap.
Friday: Our plane left Kansas City at 12:30pm, and due to pacific standard time, we arrived in Vegas at 1:40. That's sweet going out, hurts coming back though! We decided to rent a car since we were going to be doing some extensive traveling off the strip. We got upgraded to a slightly larger car, which turned out to be a Chevy Cobalt, and the agent gave us free usage of the GPS, which turned out to be extremely needed! Las Vegas as a city in general reminds me a lot of Raleigh (well, not the strip part, but the rest). Once you get out of the strip it's a huge sprawling city that looks like one giant suburb. This was our first trip to Vegas so it was really great to be able to see a new part of the country. The desert mountains are just stunning. Michael and I couldn't get enough of the view! It's just so, so different from the landscape we're used to. We flew over the Grand Canyon as we were landing which was amazing. I would love to go back and some point and actually go there. Friday overall was low key. We checked into our hotel, the Luxor, then made our way over to the house owned by the couple getting married on Sunday. I hung out there for a couple of hours watching Scrubs while Michael, Zach (groom) and the other groomsmen went and did their final fitting for their tuxes. Michael then dropped me back off at the hotel because Zach's bachelor party was that night. Now, don't feel sorry for me for spending my first night in Vegas alone. I had a BLAST! Seriously. This was my one night of pure relaxation and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I ordered room service for dinner, watched Sex and the City 2 on our super comfy king sized pillow top mattress bed (which isn't even out to rent yet, you can rent movies that are still in theaters in the hotel!), then took a bath in the separate jetted tub. I had brought a LUSH bath bomb specifically for this. By the time I went to sleep around 1, I was in total bliss. Michael got home around 3, which was VERY impressive for him! Remember, we flew in on Friday, so that was really 5 am for us. We learned later that the rest of the bachelor party were out until 9 am. No thanks...maybe this is putting me squarely into "old fart" territory but I would rather sleep!
Saturday, we woke up mostly refreshed and hungry! Our first stop was Pyramid Cafe inside the Luxor. I chowed on corn beef hash, eggs, and toast. Yummy but not anything extraordinary. We killed time in the casino by playing the slot machines, and Michael taught me how to play video poker which was a lot of fun! I would play that again for sure. We drove over to a rental house that the bride and grooms' parents were renting for the wedding weekend. It was great! The house had a pool, in-ground trampoline, bar area out back, and lots of space for a big party. Thanks to the groomsmen being up so late and extremely hung over, everything got started way later than planned, but not a big deal. It is Vegas, after all... we all ate a late lunch bbq together and the wedding party did their rehearsal in the back yard. Saturday night, Michael and I went back to the strip to see the Bellagio water fountain show. That was really impressive and reminded us of Ocean's 11. We then walked around the strip some and when we got hungry, we found ourselves in front of Planet Hollywood. We ate at a bar and grill inside their hotel that was pretty tasty. Michael got dorito crusted mac and cheese as a side that was really strange sounding on the menu but surprisingly tasty! He wanted to go in PH because that is where the movie 21 was filmed, so it was cool to see it in person. We walked through the mall that's connected to PH until my feet started to hurt, so we called it a night and drove back.
Sunday was wedding day! We slept in, then had a lengthy discussion about where to go for lunch. Michael used his computer to pull up a clip from Guy Fieri's Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives, about this place called Four Kegs. They are famous for their strombolis and so we decided that sounded pretty good. Best. Decision. Ever. If you ever find yourself in Vegas, it is worth what will be an outrageous cab fare to go there. Michael got their classic stromboli and I had a meatball sandwich that were both out of this world. It was by far our best (and cheapest, excluding fast food) meal during the whole trip. After lunch, Michael ran into the CVS that was next door to get a wrap for my ankle, which was starting to resemble a tree trunk. I had about 10 minutes to change into my dress when we got back before it was time for Becca's wedding, which was in her hotel suite in the Luxor! It was so sweet and intimate. She looked gorgeous and wore a veil she knit herself...very impressive. Steve was so handsome in his tux! After the ceremony, we had time to grab a cupcake and chat for a bit before they were off to get some wedding pictures with their photographer at different points on the strip. So glad I was able to be there and see their wedding, it was totally worth booking the same hotel. Becca and I met through Live Journal, of all places, when she moved to Chapel Hill while I was a student there. She now lives in Miami so it had been over a year since we'd seen each other.
After Becca's wedding, we had about an hour before we had to go to a different hotel so Michael and the other groomsmen could get ready. While all the boys got ready, I played slots with one of the other groomsmen's girlfriend, a sweet girl named Holly. I am really glad she was there because it would have been so boring to be by myself! We had a good time hanging out on the casino floor until they called us back. The wedding was at a chapel off the strip, small but intimate...maybe 50ish people? Zach and Kelsey had a beautiful ceremony that made nearly everyone tear up when the officiant was telling a story about his wife in Tennessee. Michael and Zach have been friends since 7th grade and Zach was his best man at our wedding, so their friendship goes way back...I'm so glad we were able to come and be there for him. Once the wedding was over, we made our way to the reception hall that was attached to the chapel. Holly and I gladly indulged in the open bar while waiting for the wedding party to finish taking pictures. We ate, drank, danced, laughed, had cake, and celebrated until the reception ended at 11pm. Then the real party started! Haha. They rented a party bus for all the younger guests, so that was a real kick. We went to the famous Las Vegas sign and took pictures, then drove around the strip. We ended up at the Bellagio, and gambled, drank, and visited with brand new husband and wife couple. The night ended around 3 am when Michael obligingly took me to McDonald's for chicken nuggets before crawling into bed. It was SO. MUCH.FUN!! We never party like that so it was a fun departure from reality.
Monday morning came way too soon. We (read; I) wanted to try a staple restaurant on the west coast that I'd heard so much about: In and Out Burger. So we did once we checked out of the hotel. Michael was not too impressed but I thought it was pretty good. I enjoyed my animal style cheeseburger, which had grilled onions, pickles, and a thousand island type of dressing, and a neopolitan milkshake. My favorite fast food burger is still Five Guys but I would definitely eat at an In N Out again. Our plane left Vegas at 5:30 and we landed in Kansas City around 10. We had to drive to the Plaza area to get Penny, who had been staying at her brother Patrick's house and his owners. I think they had a great time!
So now it's back to regular life. Tonight was the first night of my growth groups. This group will be reading another Anne Lamott book and will be smaller than my other 2 groups, which is a good thing. I am very much looking forward to getting to know the other 6 ladies on a deeper level as we plow through some good reading material! Tonight was basically a getting to know you session, and we talked a lot about last week's sermon. I think pretty much everyone's group will be talking about it this week. Thanks to Tish for detailed notes and Anna for saving me an outline! :)
I have many pics of this weekend on Facebook...I think the new saying is going to be what happens in Vegas, ends up on Facebook. Luckily I behaved myself for the most part. ;) Check them out if you so desire!
Friday: Our plane left Kansas City at 12:30pm, and due to pacific standard time, we arrived in Vegas at 1:40. That's sweet going out, hurts coming back though! We decided to rent a car since we were going to be doing some extensive traveling off the strip. We got upgraded to a slightly larger car, which turned out to be a Chevy Cobalt, and the agent gave us free usage of the GPS, which turned out to be extremely needed! Las Vegas as a city in general reminds me a lot of Raleigh (well, not the strip part, but the rest). Once you get out of the strip it's a huge sprawling city that looks like one giant suburb. This was our first trip to Vegas so it was really great to be able to see a new part of the country. The desert mountains are just stunning. Michael and I couldn't get enough of the view! It's just so, so different from the landscape we're used to. We flew over the Grand Canyon as we were landing which was amazing. I would love to go back and some point and actually go there. Friday overall was low key. We checked into our hotel, the Luxor, then made our way over to the house owned by the couple getting married on Sunday. I hung out there for a couple of hours watching Scrubs while Michael, Zach (groom) and the other groomsmen went and did their final fitting for their tuxes. Michael then dropped me back off at the hotel because Zach's bachelor party was that night. Now, don't feel sorry for me for spending my first night in Vegas alone. I had a BLAST! Seriously. This was my one night of pure relaxation and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I ordered room service for dinner, watched Sex and the City 2 on our super comfy king sized pillow top mattress bed (which isn't even out to rent yet, you can rent movies that are still in theaters in the hotel!), then took a bath in the separate jetted tub. I had brought a LUSH bath bomb specifically for this. By the time I went to sleep around 1, I was in total bliss. Michael got home around 3, which was VERY impressive for him! Remember, we flew in on Friday, so that was really 5 am for us. We learned later that the rest of the bachelor party were out until 9 am. No thanks...maybe this is putting me squarely into "old fart" territory but I would rather sleep!
Saturday, we woke up mostly refreshed and hungry! Our first stop was Pyramid Cafe inside the Luxor. I chowed on corn beef hash, eggs, and toast. Yummy but not anything extraordinary. We killed time in the casino by playing the slot machines, and Michael taught me how to play video poker which was a lot of fun! I would play that again for sure. We drove over to a rental house that the bride and grooms' parents were renting for the wedding weekend. It was great! The house had a pool, in-ground trampoline, bar area out back, and lots of space for a big party. Thanks to the groomsmen being up so late and extremely hung over, everything got started way later than planned, but not a big deal. It is Vegas, after all... we all ate a late lunch bbq together and the wedding party did their rehearsal in the back yard. Saturday night, Michael and I went back to the strip to see the Bellagio water fountain show. That was really impressive and reminded us of Ocean's 11. We then walked around the strip some and when we got hungry, we found ourselves in front of Planet Hollywood. We ate at a bar and grill inside their hotel that was pretty tasty. Michael got dorito crusted mac and cheese as a side that was really strange sounding on the menu but surprisingly tasty! He wanted to go in PH because that is where the movie 21 was filmed, so it was cool to see it in person. We walked through the mall that's connected to PH until my feet started to hurt, so we called it a night and drove back.
Sunday was wedding day! We slept in, then had a lengthy discussion about where to go for lunch. Michael used his computer to pull up a clip from Guy Fieri's Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives, about this place called Four Kegs. They are famous for their strombolis and so we decided that sounded pretty good. Best. Decision. Ever. If you ever find yourself in Vegas, it is worth what will be an outrageous cab fare to go there. Michael got their classic stromboli and I had a meatball sandwich that were both out of this world. It was by far our best (and cheapest, excluding fast food) meal during the whole trip. After lunch, Michael ran into the CVS that was next door to get a wrap for my ankle, which was starting to resemble a tree trunk. I had about 10 minutes to change into my dress when we got back before it was time for Becca's wedding, which was in her hotel suite in the Luxor! It was so sweet and intimate. She looked gorgeous and wore a veil she knit herself...very impressive. Steve was so handsome in his tux! After the ceremony, we had time to grab a cupcake and chat for a bit before they were off to get some wedding pictures with their photographer at different points on the strip. So glad I was able to be there and see their wedding, it was totally worth booking the same hotel. Becca and I met through Live Journal, of all places, when she moved to Chapel Hill while I was a student there. She now lives in Miami so it had been over a year since we'd seen each other.
After Becca's wedding, we had about an hour before we had to go to a different hotel so Michael and the other groomsmen could get ready. While all the boys got ready, I played slots with one of the other groomsmen's girlfriend, a sweet girl named Holly. I am really glad she was there because it would have been so boring to be by myself! We had a good time hanging out on the casino floor until they called us back. The wedding was at a chapel off the strip, small but intimate...maybe 50ish people? Zach and Kelsey had a beautiful ceremony that made nearly everyone tear up when the officiant was telling a story about his wife in Tennessee. Michael and Zach have been friends since 7th grade and Zach was his best man at our wedding, so their friendship goes way back...I'm so glad we were able to come and be there for him. Once the wedding was over, we made our way to the reception hall that was attached to the chapel. Holly and I gladly indulged in the open bar while waiting for the wedding party to finish taking pictures. We ate, drank, danced, laughed, had cake, and celebrated until the reception ended at 11pm. Then the real party started! Haha. They rented a party bus for all the younger guests, so that was a real kick. We went to the famous Las Vegas sign and took pictures, then drove around the strip. We ended up at the Bellagio, and gambled, drank, and visited with brand new husband and wife couple. The night ended around 3 am when Michael obligingly took me to McDonald's for chicken nuggets before crawling into bed. It was SO. MUCH.FUN!! We never party like that so it was a fun departure from reality.
Monday morning came way too soon. We (read; I) wanted to try a staple restaurant on the west coast that I'd heard so much about: In and Out Burger. So we did once we checked out of the hotel. Michael was not too impressed but I thought it was pretty good. I enjoyed my animal style cheeseburger, which had grilled onions, pickles, and a thousand island type of dressing, and a neopolitan milkshake. My favorite fast food burger is still Five Guys but I would definitely eat at an In N Out again. Our plane left Vegas at 5:30 and we landed in Kansas City around 10. We had to drive to the Plaza area to get Penny, who had been staying at her brother Patrick's house and his owners. I think they had a great time!
So now it's back to regular life. Tonight was the first night of my growth groups. This group will be reading another Anne Lamott book and will be smaller than my other 2 groups, which is a good thing. I am very much looking forward to getting to know the other 6 ladies on a deeper level as we plow through some good reading material! Tonight was basically a getting to know you session, and we talked a lot about last week's sermon. I think pretty much everyone's group will be talking about it this week. Thanks to Tish for detailed notes and Anna for saving me an outline! :)
I have many pics of this weekend on Facebook...I think the new saying is going to be what happens in Vegas, ends up on Facebook. Luckily I behaved myself for the most part. ;) Check them out if you so desire!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Leavin' on a Jet Plane
It's been a busy week!
Tuesday was so much fun. Sue, Tish, and Anna from EastLake came over to watch Glee. Wasn't that a heavy episode? Oy. I am obsessed with Kurt's version of "I Want to Hold Your Hand"...it was so beautiful the way they changed it into an homage for Kurt's dad. I'm glad the girls were with me and making me laugh, this episode easily could have been a tearjerker for me, especially when they showed a young Kurt and his Dad in the cemetary after his mom's funeral. After Glee Anna taught me how to crochet. Wow...that was an exercise in patience for her! Let's just say it takes me a while to catch on. Right now I have a practice scarf I'm working on. We discovered that thicker yarn with a bigger crochet hook works much better for people who have no idea what they're doing. ;) Can't wait for groups to start next week! I am really hoping to meet some wonderful new people and continue to get to know the amazing friends I already have. So far we are up to 21 people in our dog walking group...amazing! If you want to join, anyone is welcome...you don't have to go to EastLake. We're meeting at the Eldridge on Sat, Oct 16th for a welcome breakfast at 9 am. Hope to see you there. :)
Yesterday, Michael and I celebrated our 3 year anniversary. The time has really flown by, sometimes it feels like we've only been married for 5 minutes. I looked through our wedding pictures yesterday just to reminisce, so that was a fun trip down memory lane. That was such an amazing day, and so "us". We were married at 11 am in a chapel 10 minutes from where I grew up in Wake Forest, NC. After the ceremony we had a lunchtime reception at Caffe Luna, our favorite Italian restaurant in downtown Raleigh. The food was fantastic. Our cake was such a hit that we didn't even get a slice beyond the bite we had for the cutting of the cake pictures! Yep...we went outside to do some portraits and by the time we got back, it was all gone! At least we had groom's cake left! LOL. After the reception, our bridal party and a couple other close friends all went to Krispy Kreme. I will never forget the looks we all got, walking into the shop in our wedding gear! One of my friends said, "Shouldn't a bride get a free donut on her wedding day?" and the manager agreed with her, so that rocked. After a break for a couple of hours so everyone could get changed and rest, we met for dinner at Bogart's in downtown Raleigh for drinks, dinner, and more good times. It was a night I will never forget, because we were with so many of our best friends.
This is my favorite picture from our wedding day. :)
Once he got home from dog class with Penny, we went out for dinner at Free State. My super sweet dad sent us some money to have dinner out. Thanks poppa!! So we did, and it was great. Onion rings and beer with my best friend, the man who makes me laugh every single day...couldn't ask for anything more. Hope there's many more to come!! :)
Tonight's going to be busy...we're dropping Penny off at our friends' house, who just happen to own her litter mate and brother. They are going to have so much fun hanging out this weekend. Then we're going to pack, because this time tomorrow we'll be on a plane for VEGAS! I'm pretty excited, if you can't tell. I've never been before and for sure will be a wide eyed tourist but I'm okay with that! We're going for 2 weddings. One is my friend Becca, who is getting married in the hotel we're staying at, and the other is Michael's best friend from high school. It will be a crazy weekend for sure, but fun. See ya on the flipside....aka Tuesday when we're back!
Tuesday was so much fun. Sue, Tish, and Anna from EastLake came over to watch Glee. Wasn't that a heavy episode? Oy. I am obsessed with Kurt's version of "I Want to Hold Your Hand"...it was so beautiful the way they changed it into an homage for Kurt's dad. I'm glad the girls were with me and making me laugh, this episode easily could have been a tearjerker for me, especially when they showed a young Kurt and his Dad in the cemetary after his mom's funeral. After Glee Anna taught me how to crochet. Wow...that was an exercise in patience for her! Let's just say it takes me a while to catch on. Right now I have a practice scarf I'm working on. We discovered that thicker yarn with a bigger crochet hook works much better for people who have no idea what they're doing. ;) Can't wait for groups to start next week! I am really hoping to meet some wonderful new people and continue to get to know the amazing friends I already have. So far we are up to 21 people in our dog walking group...amazing! If you want to join, anyone is welcome...you don't have to go to EastLake. We're meeting at the Eldridge on Sat, Oct 16th for a welcome breakfast at 9 am. Hope to see you there. :)
Yesterday, Michael and I celebrated our 3 year anniversary. The time has really flown by, sometimes it feels like we've only been married for 5 minutes. I looked through our wedding pictures yesterday just to reminisce, so that was a fun trip down memory lane. That was such an amazing day, and so "us". We were married at 11 am in a chapel 10 minutes from where I grew up in Wake Forest, NC. After the ceremony we had a lunchtime reception at Caffe Luna, our favorite Italian restaurant in downtown Raleigh. The food was fantastic. Our cake was such a hit that we didn't even get a slice beyond the bite we had for the cutting of the cake pictures! Yep...we went outside to do some portraits and by the time we got back, it was all gone! At least we had groom's cake left! LOL. After the reception, our bridal party and a couple other close friends all went to Krispy Kreme. I will never forget the looks we all got, walking into the shop in our wedding gear! One of my friends said, "Shouldn't a bride get a free donut on her wedding day?" and the manager agreed with her, so that rocked. After a break for a couple of hours so everyone could get changed and rest, we met for dinner at Bogart's in downtown Raleigh for drinks, dinner, and more good times. It was a night I will never forget, because we were with so many of our best friends.
This is my favorite picture from our wedding day. :)Once he got home from dog class with Penny, we went out for dinner at Free State. My super sweet dad sent us some money to have dinner out. Thanks poppa!! So we did, and it was great. Onion rings and beer with my best friend, the man who makes me laugh every single day...couldn't ask for anything more. Hope there's many more to come!! :)
Tonight's going to be busy...we're dropping Penny off at our friends' house, who just happen to own her litter mate and brother. They are going to have so much fun hanging out this weekend. Then we're going to pack, because this time tomorrow we'll be on a plane for VEGAS! I'm pretty excited, if you can't tell. I've never been before and for sure will be a wide eyed tourist but I'm okay with that! We're going for 2 weddings. One is my friend Becca, who is getting married in the hotel we're staying at, and the other is Michael's best friend from high school. It will be a crazy weekend for sure, but fun. See ya on the flipside....aka Tuesday when we're back!
Saturday, October 2, 2010
The Social Network
Yes, the movie about Facebook...was awesome! We highly recommend, it was fast paced and kept us totally engaged. I am pretty bad about checking my watch/phone if I start to get bored at movies and didn't glance at them once. The story is basically about the founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, and how he came up with the idea, its implementation, the explosion of its popularity, and the conflict between him and several other characters who claim he stole their idea, and his business partner who he basically cuts out. The movie goes back and forth between the legal scenes hashing out what allegedly happened and the action of the story actually happening. Jesse Eisenberg, Justin Timberlake (weird, but true), and the actor who played Eduardo were all really fantastic. Go see it!
And if you can, go see it in a theater like this. :) We went to the Cinema Suites theater in Olathe and it was totally worth it. 21 & up only, so no loud teenagers can get in (man I sound grumpy...lol.) Very limited seating because the seats are super plush, comfy recliners. The price of the ticket includes a food voucher and someone comes and waits on you throughout the movie. You can even order cocktails! We had lunch there since we saw the 1:15 showing and it was a really great way to spend the afternoon with my hubby. Dinner and a movie combined...genius. The food is pretty decent, too. I had chicken tenders battered in a boulevard ale coating...yum yum!
And if you can, go see it in a theater like this. :) We went to the Cinema Suites theater in Olathe and it was totally worth it. 21 & up only, so no loud teenagers can get in (man I sound grumpy...lol.) Very limited seating because the seats are super plush, comfy recliners. The price of the ticket includes a food voucher and someone comes and waits on you throughout the movie. You can even order cocktails! We had lunch there since we saw the 1:15 showing and it was a really great way to spend the afternoon with my hubby. Dinner and a movie combined...genius. The food is pretty decent, too. I had chicken tenders battered in a boulevard ale coating...yum yum!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
just typing out loud
Am I spreading myself too thin? I'm starting to wonder. I know none of you can answer this for me, but it's something I've been thinking about and will need to put some conscious effort into deciding how I want to divvy up my free time. So far, here's what will be on my plate beginning in a couple of weeks:
-Growth groups on Tuesday nights, Thursday nights, and Saturday mornings. I'm co-leading the Sat. morning group, the Tuesday group is a book study so that will require reading, and the Thursday group is crochet so that will require practice.
-volunteering for EastLake on the connection card entry team and the food/coffee table. The cards are every Sunday and food/coffee is about every other Sunday.
-volunteering for greyhound rescue by attending adoption events 1-2 times per month
-I currently run ebay auctions for the greyhound rescue and update their twitter page
-Michael takes Penny to doggie 'good citizen' class on Wednesdays, which means I'm at home without a car (we just have one and share it)
-I am trying to start a healthy routine of getting more exercise, which means ideally I would like to get to the gym 3-4 times per week
What I am internally debating about is whether we should add becoming adoption volunteers for the greyhound rescue. This would be pretty time consuming, I think...it's reviewing applications, having a phone interview with a prospective adopter, conducting a home visit, and helping place greyhounds from our program. I have no doubt it would be extremely rewarding. I'm just wondering if it will be putting too much on my plate for the moment. I need to make a decision soon because training is on the 23rd of October and I want to give the person doing the training enough notice if we decide not to do it. A home visit on the MO side, for example, would eat up a chunk of a day by the time it would take to drive there, conduct the visit, and drive back. Probably one of the only downsides of living in Lawrence is that the majority of the events with the group are in the Overland Park side of KS or KCMO. So it's a drive pretty much no matter what, which is fine, but I need to keep that in mind while thinking about all of this. So at the moment, the only times we could conduct home visits would be Friday nights (Mondays are our date nights), Saturday afternoons, or Sunday afternoons. And Sunday afternoons won't really work because Michael has basketball growth group at 4.
Hmm. The more I type it out and think about it, the more I'm seeing how much time I don't have left. And the time that I do have is pretty sacred as far as making sure I get enough time for exercise, friends, seeing Michael, and recharging for work. Maybe I'll revisit adoption rep training in 2011.
-Growth groups on Tuesday nights, Thursday nights, and Saturday mornings. I'm co-leading the Sat. morning group, the Tuesday group is a book study so that will require reading, and the Thursday group is crochet so that will require practice.
-volunteering for EastLake on the connection card entry team and the food/coffee table. The cards are every Sunday and food/coffee is about every other Sunday.
-volunteering for greyhound rescue by attending adoption events 1-2 times per month
-I currently run ebay auctions for the greyhound rescue and update their twitter page
-Michael takes Penny to doggie 'good citizen' class on Wednesdays, which means I'm at home without a car (we just have one and share it)
-I am trying to start a healthy routine of getting more exercise, which means ideally I would like to get to the gym 3-4 times per week
What I am internally debating about is whether we should add becoming adoption volunteers for the greyhound rescue. This would be pretty time consuming, I think...it's reviewing applications, having a phone interview with a prospective adopter, conducting a home visit, and helping place greyhounds from our program. I have no doubt it would be extremely rewarding. I'm just wondering if it will be putting too much on my plate for the moment. I need to make a decision soon because training is on the 23rd of October and I want to give the person doing the training enough notice if we decide not to do it. A home visit on the MO side, for example, would eat up a chunk of a day by the time it would take to drive there, conduct the visit, and drive back. Probably one of the only downsides of living in Lawrence is that the majority of the events with the group are in the Overland Park side of KS or KCMO. So it's a drive pretty much no matter what, which is fine, but I need to keep that in mind while thinking about all of this. So at the moment, the only times we could conduct home visits would be Friday nights (Mondays are our date nights), Saturday afternoons, or Sunday afternoons. And Sunday afternoons won't really work because Michael has basketball growth group at 4.
Hmm. The more I type it out and think about it, the more I'm seeing how much time I don't have left. And the time that I do have is pretty sacred as far as making sure I get enough time for exercise, friends, seeing Michael, and recharging for work. Maybe I'll revisit adoption rep training in 2011.
Sleeeeeep.
I wish I could get myself back on a normal sleep schedule. It's 2 am and I'm wide awake. It would be nice to fall asleep around 11ish when Michael goes to bed. I always feel like I'm disturbing him when I do head back. I've always been a night owl. I tend to do a lot of work at night because I just feel more alert than I do early in the morning. I still remember the ability to be awake and perky by 8 am when I was still in NC was mostly a daily challenge. I thank God for the blessing of being able to work from home, so that even when I'm groggy, no one has to see that. Hooray for being 2 minutes from the Dunkin Donuts in town for an iced vanilla latte when I do have to be functioning before 10 am.
Let's talk Glee, shall we? I was not knocked off of my feet by this episode, although I did love Heather Morris (Brittany). Glad she was finally given a chance to be in the spotlight other than her hilarious one liners. They did mention that they grew up with Britney's music, which is true for me. Her first single came out when I was in 8th or 9th grade and I remember watching it on TRL and being hooked. Of course, we all know how crazy she got as the years progressed, but there's still that little piece of me that has a soft spot for her. If you want to read a hilarious commentary of Glee episodes, I highly, HIGHLY recommend you check out projectrungay.blogspot.com. They usually have clips of all the songs in addition to a summary and their opinions on the episodes.
Let's talk Glee, shall we? I was not knocked off of my feet by this episode, although I did love Heather Morris (Brittany). Glad she was finally given a chance to be in the spotlight other than her hilarious one liners. They did mention that they grew up with Britney's music, which is true for me. Her first single came out when I was in 8th or 9th grade and I remember watching it on TRL and being hooked. Of course, we all know how crazy she got as the years progressed, but there's still that little piece of me that has a soft spot for her. If you want to read a hilarious commentary of Glee episodes, I highly, HIGHLY recommend you check out projectrungay.blogspot.com. They usually have clips of all the songs in addition to a summary and their opinions on the episodes.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
I once was blind, but now I see
EastLake's pastor, Matt, uses this familiar line quite a bit to talk about how we can respond when people question different facets of Christianity. It's a fact that none of us will know the answer to every single question, because we're all human and not walking encyclopedias (unless you're Sheldon Cooper, that is). Especially for people like me who are relatively new in their faith. I can't quote a ton of scripture, and to be honest, I don't really want to. That's not what my relationship with God is about. It's personal, doesn't use Christian-ese, because I know that God hears me and takes me as I am, and is willing to listen any way I want to talk to him. Sometimes it's like, "yo God, just wanting to say hi and thank you for helping the Chiefs start out 3-0." We're tight like that.
The bible verse in question is about a blind man Jesus comes across while walking with his disciples. They ask Jesus who sinned in order for the man to be born blind. Jesus said neither his parents nor the man himself sinned, but that he was born that way so that God could work through him. He then basically takes spit and mud and rubs it in the man's eyes (lovely, right?) and tells the man to wash his face. When he does, he can see. When he is questioned by the Pharisees, he doesn't know how Jesus was able to perform this miracle. All he knows is, "I was blind, but now I see."
Anyway. So when people ask hard questions, it's totally okay to say, "I don't know." The answer is out there, somewhere, and we can find it out if the answer to that particular question is a serious road block for that person. But what I can say is this: "Look, I'm just as messed up as the next person. But what I know is that I once was blind, but now I see." I once went through life in the dark, feeling alone, but God was there the whole time and I just didn't know it. But now I see Him, and guess what? He's always been there and always will be, even through the times that are so hard it's almost unbearable.
One year ago I would have laughed at myself for being this excited about my faith. One year ago, talking openly about how Jesus has changed my life would have made me uncomfortable. One year ago, I certainly could not imagine being a part of a church family that so willingly says, "no matter what you've done, there is a place for you here," a church that I am pumped up to attend, volunteer for, and stay connected. I have to miss the October 10th service because we'll be out of town, and I'm really bummed to miss it- NO WAY would I have said that one year ago.
But one year ago things were different. One year ago my mom was still here, so weak she had to quit her job because of the chemo, but still here. Funny how grief can change you. I've struggled with so many emotions these past 6 months...anger, depression, fear, sadness, jealousy of all the other people who still have their moms. Remorse that she'll never get to meet her future grandchildren. She would have been an AWESOME grandma. I still feel emotional pain for my Dad, who is now widowed at 53 after 31 years with his best friend, for my grandma and aunt who lost their daughter and sister, and for my sister and I. I'm 25 and one parent, the woman who brought me into this world, who was always there for me and loved me no matter what I did, is gone, and that reality is hard to swallow. Something I didn't count on, but found anyway, was healing through God.
Matt read the blog entry I wrote after I attended membership class as part of his sermon today on going all in. I heard lots of sniffles in the audience. I didn't cry, but I did tear up. Sue said my hands were shaking. I'm so glad Matt read it, though...he delivered it exactly the way it sounded in my head as I was writing it. I'm sure I would have been a blubbering mess if I'd tried to read it. So thanks, Matt (if you read this), for reading my story about how God is using EastLake and the people there to guide me out of a depression that threatened to take over. I'm not saying I have it all together now. Far from it. I still have days where I miss her so much it hurts to breathe. But now I have a relationship with God that's meaningful, and I can talk to him (and mom) and know that He's listening, and will help me get through the messes of my life. And if that story can help anyone else who's going through some crap in their lives...man, how awesome that would be.
So to anyone out there who's skeptical, thinking that you've been burned so many times in the past by the Church...I understand. But I promise you, I am a normal person whose life has been changed because of this church. So come check it out next Sunday at 9:30 or 11 am at South Jr High in Lawrence. I'll be at the food table and would love to meet you.
I'm sharing this in hopes it reaches someone still in the dark, someone waiting for something to change their life, because for me, it all boils down to this: because once I was blind, and now...I see.
The bible verse in question is about a blind man Jesus comes across while walking with his disciples. They ask Jesus who sinned in order for the man to be born blind. Jesus said neither his parents nor the man himself sinned, but that he was born that way so that God could work through him. He then basically takes spit and mud and rubs it in the man's eyes (lovely, right?) and tells the man to wash his face. When he does, he can see. When he is questioned by the Pharisees, he doesn't know how Jesus was able to perform this miracle. All he knows is, "I was blind, but now I see."
Anyway. So when people ask hard questions, it's totally okay to say, "I don't know." The answer is out there, somewhere, and we can find it out if the answer to that particular question is a serious road block for that person. But what I can say is this: "Look, I'm just as messed up as the next person. But what I know is that I once was blind, but now I see." I once went through life in the dark, feeling alone, but God was there the whole time and I just didn't know it. But now I see Him, and guess what? He's always been there and always will be, even through the times that are so hard it's almost unbearable.
One year ago I would have laughed at myself for being this excited about my faith. One year ago, talking openly about how Jesus has changed my life would have made me uncomfortable. One year ago, I certainly could not imagine being a part of a church family that so willingly says, "no matter what you've done, there is a place for you here," a church that I am pumped up to attend, volunteer for, and stay connected. I have to miss the October 10th service because we'll be out of town, and I'm really bummed to miss it- NO WAY would I have said that one year ago.
But one year ago things were different. One year ago my mom was still here, so weak she had to quit her job because of the chemo, but still here. Funny how grief can change you. I've struggled with so many emotions these past 6 months...anger, depression, fear, sadness, jealousy of all the other people who still have their moms. Remorse that she'll never get to meet her future grandchildren. She would have been an AWESOME grandma. I still feel emotional pain for my Dad, who is now widowed at 53 after 31 years with his best friend, for my grandma and aunt who lost their daughter and sister, and for my sister and I. I'm 25 and one parent, the woman who brought me into this world, who was always there for me and loved me no matter what I did, is gone, and that reality is hard to swallow. Something I didn't count on, but found anyway, was healing through God.
Matt read the blog entry I wrote after I attended membership class as part of his sermon today on going all in. I heard lots of sniffles in the audience. I didn't cry, but I did tear up. Sue said my hands were shaking. I'm so glad Matt read it, though...he delivered it exactly the way it sounded in my head as I was writing it. I'm sure I would have been a blubbering mess if I'd tried to read it. So thanks, Matt (if you read this), for reading my story about how God is using EastLake and the people there to guide me out of a depression that threatened to take over. I'm not saying I have it all together now. Far from it. I still have days where I miss her so much it hurts to breathe. But now I have a relationship with God that's meaningful, and I can talk to him (and mom) and know that He's listening, and will help me get through the messes of my life. And if that story can help anyone else who's going through some crap in their lives...man, how awesome that would be.
So to anyone out there who's skeptical, thinking that you've been burned so many times in the past by the Church...I understand. But I promise you, I am a normal person whose life has been changed because of this church. So come check it out next Sunday at 9:30 or 11 am at South Jr High in Lawrence. I'll be at the food table and would love to meet you.
I'm sharing this in hopes it reaches someone still in the dark, someone waiting for something to change their life, because for me, it all boils down to this: because once I was blind, and now...I see.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Happy days
This might seem silly to some of you, but a big reason why today was an awesome day was because GLEE is back on tv. Love, love, love that show. I think it's hilarious, doesn't take itself too seriously, and it is just plain fun to bust out in a song every 10 minutes or so. Puts a huge smile on my face. I signed up for a growth group on Tuesday nights, so once October rolls around I'm going to have to stay off the internet until I get home so I don't get spoiled by Facebook, twitter, etc. GLEE is very quotable so I'm sure I would see some stuff from episodes within an hour of it airing live.
In addition to GLEE, Michael and I also watch Castle, Caprica, Fringe, and The Big Bang Theory. I recorded The Biggest Loser, Hawaii Five 0, and The Event. Jury is still out on The Event...I thought it was intriguing so I will watch it again to see how it progresses. People are comparing it to LOST, which I loved and was frustrated by at the same time because with each question that was answered, 5 more would pop up. I know it's a lot of tv, but thankfully the dvr records most of it so we're still able to be out and about as we want to be. Our fall nights will be pretty busy...I have growth groups on Tuesday and Thursday, and Michael has doggie 'good citizen' class with Penny on Wednesdays. Not complaining though, I love hanging out with EastLakers!
Speaking of groups, Tish and I have 6 sign ups so far for our group. Soooo exciting!! We're doing a dog walking group on Saturday mornings and even though I am not a morning person, I hope it will be fun. I'd rather eat breakfast out than walk but that is a habit I need to break, haha.
My other group is going to be teaching me how to crochet. I can't wait to learn. I am not really a crafty person so I'm sure it will be challenging at first but I am up for it. I already have a list of things to make for family: a potholder for dad, and scarves for Michael and Lyndsay.
Tonight my Dad called asking for some advice. A family friend had sent an invite to a baby shower for her niece (the daughter of the lady who used to babysit me when I was little), addressed to my mom. Which means their family doesn't know she passed away. Talk about awkward. That is a really, really tough phone call to make. I know my dad will be okay doing it when he is ready, but it still sucks so have to make those calls. Time is slowly making each day a bit easier but...I don't know. Then these little things happen and it's a reminder of how much our lives have changed since March. Whoever you are, if you are reading this and your mom is still alive, give her a call or pay her a visit whenever you can. I would give practically anything for one more day of shopping, going to Starbucks, going to church, sending a funny email to my mom...those little things I just counted on to be there for a lot longer than I got.
In addition to GLEE, Michael and I also watch Castle, Caprica, Fringe, and The Big Bang Theory. I recorded The Biggest Loser, Hawaii Five 0, and The Event. Jury is still out on The Event...I thought it was intriguing so I will watch it again to see how it progresses. People are comparing it to LOST, which I loved and was frustrated by at the same time because with each question that was answered, 5 more would pop up. I know it's a lot of tv, but thankfully the dvr records most of it so we're still able to be out and about as we want to be. Our fall nights will be pretty busy...I have growth groups on Tuesday and Thursday, and Michael has doggie 'good citizen' class with Penny on Wednesdays. Not complaining though, I love hanging out with EastLakers!
Speaking of groups, Tish and I have 6 sign ups so far for our group. Soooo exciting!! We're doing a dog walking group on Saturday mornings and even though I am not a morning person, I hope it will be fun. I'd rather eat breakfast out than walk but that is a habit I need to break, haha.
My other group is going to be teaching me how to crochet. I can't wait to learn. I am not really a crafty person so I'm sure it will be challenging at first but I am up for it. I already have a list of things to make for family: a potholder for dad, and scarves for Michael and Lyndsay.
Tonight my Dad called asking for some advice. A family friend had sent an invite to a baby shower for her niece (the daughter of the lady who used to babysit me when I was little), addressed to my mom. Which means their family doesn't know she passed away. Talk about awkward. That is a really, really tough phone call to make. I know my dad will be okay doing it when he is ready, but it still sucks so have to make those calls. Time is slowly making each day a bit easier but...I don't know. Then these little things happen and it's a reminder of how much our lives have changed since March. Whoever you are, if you are reading this and your mom is still alive, give her a call or pay her a visit whenever you can. I would give practically anything for one more day of shopping, going to Starbucks, going to church, sending a funny email to my mom...those little things I just counted on to be there for a lot longer than I got.
Friday, September 17, 2010
weekend!
Man, I love weekends. Because I work from home, sometimes they are my opportunity to get OUT of the house! How's that for a change? ;) Tomorrow Michael and I are taking a trip to Overland Park so he can be fitted for a tux. He's going to be in his friend Zack's wedding (he has to wear a kilt! Glee!) and we are pushing it with getting them in on time. While we're in OP we'll drop off some squeaky toys that I auctioned off on ebay on behalf of MoKan Greyhounds. I'll be putting some more stuff up tomorrow night so check back, I'll have the links. All the money goes to the greyhounds looking for their forever homes. :)
Speaking of greyhounds, Penny's brother will be visiting us next week. We are dogsitting him Thurs-Sun and I am sooo excited! I'm positive pictures will happen. She starts her doggy 'good citizen' class the week after that.
So much to look forward to. Now if only the weather would cool off a bit so I can wear the jackets and sweaters I purchased...
Speaking of greyhounds, Penny's brother will be visiting us next week. We are dogsitting him Thurs-Sun and I am sooo excited! I'm positive pictures will happen. She starts her doggy 'good citizen' class the week after that.
So much to look forward to. Now if only the weather would cool off a bit so I can wear the jackets and sweaters I purchased...
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
10 on Tuesday
Random set of 10 questions, yay! Might start searching around for these types of things when I don't have anything in particular going on.
1. Do you have an innie or an outie?
I’m the owner of an innie.
2. What kind of milkshake do you order?
Eh. I have to really be in the mood for one…mostly strawberry when that urge hits, though.
3. How often do you repeat outfits at work?
Haha. I work from home where nobody can see me so my pj’s are a weekly thing. Please don’t ever show up at my house on a weekday without calling unless you’re ready for a fright when it comes to my wardrobe. Give me at least 10 min. I say this with love.
4. What are your feelings about thank you notes?
I think they’re a highly necessary part of life. I don’t mind writing them and I like to receive them. I will admit to shooting the side eye after not receiving one after a certain amount of time.
5. Do you like spicy food?
I like a little kick every now and then but my version of spicy is probably laughable for most people. I also have acid reflux that tends to get in the way of enjoying truly spicy foods.
6. How many toilet paper squares do you use?
Uh, I’m not sure I’ve ever really counted that before.
7. Were you in Girl Scouts?
Yes, until around 6th grade. I was a brownie and a junior. Peer pressure got to me…I stopped because none of my friends were in it anymore and it was no longer a cool thing to do.
8. Notebooks/Journals: College ruled? Wide Ruled? No lines? Spiral Bound? Plain front? Decorative?
I have to have college ruled; wide ruled makes me feel like I’m writing on a billboard. In sixth grade I really loved Lisa Frank decorations but now I barely use notebooks so it doesn't matter.
9. Do you snack throughout the day? What do you pack for snacks?
Sometimes. If I do, I try to have fruit as a snack. I lurrrrve strawberries. Other fave snacks are an apple with a bit of peanut butter or triscuits with a slice of sharp cheddar. If I’m craving something sweet I really like 2 squares of Lindt’s dark chocolate with sea salt. YUM. I learned quickly that 100 cal packs and the like don’t stick with me and I have to eat more of them in order to get the hunger monster (stomach) to chill.
10. What is your favorite month? Why?
Probably October. It’s my anniversary month, my dad’s birthday, my hubby’s birthday, Halloween, the true arrival of fall, cooler weather, going to a pumpkin patch, carving pumpkins, costume parties, dressing up Penny (that is so happening this year), football, and the holiday season (and my own birthday) are just around the corner. This October will be extra special because I’m getting baptized. ☺
1. Do you have an innie or an outie?
I’m the owner of an innie.
2. What kind of milkshake do you order?
Eh. I have to really be in the mood for one…mostly strawberry when that urge hits, though.
3. How often do you repeat outfits at work?
Haha. I work from home where nobody can see me so my pj’s are a weekly thing. Please don’t ever show up at my house on a weekday without calling unless you’re ready for a fright when it comes to my wardrobe. Give me at least 10 min. I say this with love.
4. What are your feelings about thank you notes?
I think they’re a highly necessary part of life. I don’t mind writing them and I like to receive them. I will admit to shooting the side eye after not receiving one after a certain amount of time.
5. Do you like spicy food?
I like a little kick every now and then but my version of spicy is probably laughable for most people. I also have acid reflux that tends to get in the way of enjoying truly spicy foods.
6. How many toilet paper squares do you use?
Uh, I’m not sure I’ve ever really counted that before.
7. Were you in Girl Scouts?
Yes, until around 6th grade. I was a brownie and a junior. Peer pressure got to me…I stopped because none of my friends were in it anymore and it was no longer a cool thing to do.
8. Notebooks/Journals: College ruled? Wide Ruled? No lines? Spiral Bound? Plain front? Decorative?
I have to have college ruled; wide ruled makes me feel like I’m writing on a billboard. In sixth grade I really loved Lisa Frank decorations but now I barely use notebooks so it doesn't matter.
9. Do you snack throughout the day? What do you pack for snacks?
Sometimes. If I do, I try to have fruit as a snack. I lurrrrve strawberries. Other fave snacks are an apple with a bit of peanut butter or triscuits with a slice of sharp cheddar. If I’m craving something sweet I really like 2 squares of Lindt’s dark chocolate with sea salt. YUM. I learned quickly that 100 cal packs and the like don’t stick with me and I have to eat more of them in order to get the hunger monster (stomach) to chill.
10. What is your favorite month? Why?
Probably October. It’s my anniversary month, my dad’s birthday, my hubby’s birthday, Halloween, the true arrival of fall, cooler weather, going to a pumpkin patch, carving pumpkins, costume parties, dressing up Penny (that is so happening this year), football, and the holiday season (and my own birthday) are just around the corner. This October will be extra special because I’m getting baptized. ☺
Monday, September 13, 2010
update :)
Long time no talk...busy week I guess. Labor Day was a nice break with Michael. We didn't do too much but it was good to have some down time. :) This weekend we went to a fundraiser for the greyhound adoption group. It was fun! There were games for the dogs, lots of shopping, a silent auction, a live auction, and tons of sweet doggies to play with. We won a silent auction that contained doggie soap, shampoo, "refresher mist" spray, a towel and mitt, plaque off (a supplement to add to food to reduce plaque and tartar), dermapaw, and ear cleaner. I think we are set on dog supplies for a while! Michael won a live auction that included a charcoal grill, 4 camping chairs, a spice set from Gates BBQ, and a gift set from Jack Stack BBQ. We will probably put the charcoal grill up on craigs list since we already have one, we mainly wanted the chairs and spices. Tonight for dinner he used the spice rub, a Penzey's english prime rib rub, and a little bit of Gates bbq sauce on some sirloin steak and it was amazing. Soooo good! Lots of leftovers for tomorrow, too. :) I have to remember to take it easy when it comes to my ankle...4-5 hours on my feet put me out of commission for the rest of the night. Which was okay, since it was spent re-watching the pilot of Battlestar Galactica. I'm not a huge sci-fi person but that show was amazing.
In other exciting, kind of scary news, my friend T and I are going to be co-leading a growth group. We met last week to talk about what we wanted it to be. Part of me is like, what the heck have you gotten yourself into??? I swear on the inside I'm an introvert, but EastLake seems to ignore that and pull me out of my shell, which is a good thing! But most of me is really excited about it. It's a walking group that going to meet on Saturday mornings. We'll probably go to a different place each week, like KU's campus, Prairie Park, downtown Mass, etc. People can bring their dogs and I hope it will be a good way to start the weekends...good friends, a little movement, maybe some coffee afterwards...just overall a good time. That's the goal, anyway. :)
In other exciting, kind of scary news, my friend T and I are going to be co-leading a growth group. We met last week to talk about what we wanted it to be. Part of me is like, what the heck have you gotten yourself into??? I swear on the inside I'm an introvert, but EastLake seems to ignore that and pull me out of my shell, which is a good thing! But most of me is really excited about it. It's a walking group that going to meet on Saturday mornings. We'll probably go to a different place each week, like KU's campus, Prairie Park, downtown Mass, etc. People can bring their dogs and I hope it will be a good way to start the weekends...good friends, a little movement, maybe some coffee afterwards...just overall a good time. That's the goal, anyway. :)
Sunday, September 5, 2010
blah
*edit* Michael requested that I remove this post for privacy reasons, just in case someone from the lab happened to run across it. Can't say that I blame him...wasn't thinking anyone that he worked with would read it, but you never know. Sorry if you missed it...it was vague and boring anyway. :)
*burns incense* okay, letting go of that frustration. It doesn't really concern me but it gets me going when I see Michael so upset. Blah! So glad tomorrow is Labor Day and we can enjoy a quiet day at home together, just hanging out. Maybe we'll go see a movie or something.
*burns incense* okay, letting go of that frustration. It doesn't really concern me but it gets me going when I see Michael so upset. Blah! So glad tomorrow is Labor Day and we can enjoy a quiet day at home together, just hanging out. Maybe we'll go see a movie or something.
Friday, September 3, 2010
:(
I just found out my dentist in Raleigh, Dr. Mike Williams, has been diagnosed with acute leukemia. This really sucks. He has been my dentist for over 13 years, ever since I transitioned from pediatric dentistry. He is more than "just" a dentist to our family. He plays with my dad in the praise band at their church and gave a lot of support to us when my mom was sick. Professionally, he is just awesome. I have some screwed up teeth and he has always been great with offering solutions for me. For the past year, rather than try to find a dentist here, I have flown home to Raleigh and coordinated dentists appointments when I knew I would be home.
All I know is that he'll be in the hospital next week for a month-long stay. Please, please keep him and his family in your prayers. I am just praying that the treatment works, and that he can find comfort and strength in the coming months ahead knowing how much he is loved by his family, friends, and God. Cancer can really go to hell.
All I know is that he'll be in the hospital next week for a month-long stay. Please, please keep him and his family in your prayers. I am just praying that the treatment works, and that he can find comfort and strength in the coming months ahead knowing how much he is loved by his family, friends, and God. Cancer can really go to hell.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Good day.
Heaven in a cup. My beloved pumpkin spice latte is back! I don't really care that it's still 90 degrees outside. Pumpkin spice latte=fall. The nice barista at the sbux inside Dillon's even upgraded me from a tall to a venti for free! What a great start to my morning!
After I dropped Michael off for class/work I ran to Target to get a couple of household items we needed before starting my work day. Browsed the nail polish and found a couple of cute "fall" shades. I am not 100% sold on this one because it's such a different color for me. It's called "Tauped". What do you think? I think I like it but not sure if I love it. I also have a dark purple I think will be pretty.
Work's been pretty busy, lots of calls and a webinar today. Got lots of good info about where to search for meaningful interaction between potential clients and our company through social media sites. I hope in the future I can convince my boss to start utilizing youtube more to reach out to people. I learned today that it is the #3 ranked search engine. I really, really love my job!
I just got home not too long ago from a late lunch with Michael's aunt (so my aunt in law, I guess?) Love her, she is a blast to hang out with. We went to Zen Zero-it was my first time and so good! I had pad thai with shrimp and a thai iced tea. Mmm. We talked so long that she got a parking ticket, despite me putting in enough money at the meter for an hour and a half. Whoops. I think it was worth it, though. I am so excited for her because she just got a new job as a digital account executive at the World Company after several months of searching. I hope she loves it-I'm excited she'll be in Lawrence so I can meet her downtown for lunch!
Speaking of new jobs, I think God has been extra busy answering prayers today...my brother in law got a job too! He left his old position in Raleigh in July when he and my sister moved to Boone so she could start grad school. So far it is part time in a manager role at a grocery store (same chain he worked at in Raleigh) but I'm sure when they see what an asset he is that they will move him up to full time.
It is looking dark and scary outside...I think I will go take Penny out before the sky decides to open up.
just keep reading
Have you ever been sucked into a book so deeply that the next time you happen to look up, you can't believe what time it is? This is how I am still awake at 1:30 am. The book is called Orange is the New Black by Piper Kerman. It is a nonfiction story of Kerman's year spent in a Connecticut prison after she was convicted of drug trafficking. The story itself of how she fell into that world, moved on, her past caught up with her, and then actually being in prison is fascinating. I guess on some level it's voyeuristic to me since that's so far removed from what I am that I can't help but just take it all in. So far I'm about half way through and I know I need to go to sleep, but I keep thinking, just one more page.
Thanks for all the comments on my last post. I didn't start out writing it with the intention to be mushy, it just happened as I started thinking more and more about how the past few months have changed me. I'm very blessed to have so many new friends!
Ok for real, I am putting the book down and going.to.bed. I heard a rumor that Starbucks now has their pumpkin spice lattes out, so I offered to drop Michael off on west campus in the morning so that I could swing by a Starbucks on the way home. Oh please, please let it be true!
Thanks for all the comments on my last post. I didn't start out writing it with the intention to be mushy, it just happened as I started thinking more and more about how the past few months have changed me. I'm very blessed to have so many new friends!
Ok for real, I am putting the book down and going.to.bed. I heard a rumor that Starbucks now has their pumpkin spice lattes out, so I offered to drop Michael off on west campus in the morning so that I could swing by a Starbucks on the way home. Oh please, please let it be true!
Monday, August 30, 2010
EastLake
Yesterday was a pretty awesome day. I spent a couple of hours at EastLake 101, an info session for prospective members. At the end of the session I decided to become a member! This is my first time ever officially being a member of a church. I didn't grow up attending church, and actually didn't really have any faith in God until around my freshman year in college. Even though I made a decision at that time to believe in everything Jesus did for us, not much happened after that other than me occasionally reading the bible. Looking back, I guess I didn't know where to start, since I'd never been before, and it was hard to make that first step. I was also happy with the way my life was going on Sundays, with winter guard practices, brunches, hanging out with friends...I was too "busy" for church. It was only when my parents found a Lutheran church in Raleigh in 2006 that I thought maybe, at some point, I should look into this. I went with them a few times, basically whenever I was home, and liked their pastors a lot, but there were some things about their service that didn't completely mesh with my style. But I saw the effect that gaining a church family had on my mom and dad...they were happier, their relationship with God grew exponentially, and it gave them an outlet of resources beyond just having a place to go to serve God. When mom got sick, the church community was there for her until the very end, and still continue to be there for my dad. Words cannot describe how important and amazing that is.
When we moved to Lawrence, I'd hoped that I would find something similar. We churched shopped infrequently, just whenever the mood hit. Found a couple of places that were full of good people, but again the fit didn't seem quite right. We gave up until May, when I happened to see an ad for a new church on Facebook. What caught my eye immediately was "no weird stuff" advertised on EastLake's website. How people communicate with God is a completely individual decision, but I have to admit I am not comfortable with hand raising, judgment, boring (to me) hymns, pomp and circumstance, shouting pastors, speaking in tongues...it's just not me. I was fighting an inner battle of years of being wary of "crazy" Christians and my desire to get to know God. After a couple of services I was hooked. The songs are awesome-no boring hymns, but loud Christian rock where I can sing without worrying someone will hear me. ;) The sermons are even better. Matt is funny, personable, and the topics teach me something every single week and help me take practical steps so I can grow in my faith.
After a couple of times going to EastLake I decided to jump into a growth group. It's like a small group they do 3 times a year, doesn't have to be study related though. Some are just hanging out and having a beer, playing basketball...there's something for everyone. I felt a tug to join a particular group that was studying an Anne Lamott book since she was one of my mom's favorite authors-I'd actually downloaded a book on an ereader that we were going to read together before she passed away. I didn't know why God was telling me to do this particular group, but I just decided to listen. I'm so glad I did. Although the book had some really poignant, funny, memorable passages that helped me really think about some things, what this group gave me was that they helped me deal with my mom's death and talk about it openly. Before EastLake I didn't really have anyone in Lawrence I could talk about it with. My dad and sister are in NC, and we talk on the phone all the time, but sometimes you just need face to face interaction. They might not know it, but they helped me realize something I'd been too scared to admit: that because losing my mom hurt so much, I doubted whether I even wanted to have children because what if someday this happens to me? How could I put my children through the pain I'm feeling? But they asked me if somehow, if my mom would have known in advance what was going to happen to her, if she would have decided not to have children, what did I think she would do? I answered immediately that she would have still had us, because we loved each other so, so much and had so many wonderful happy years together. And I can't put my life on hold because of the possibility of something bad happening. Mom would have wanted me to live each day without regret, fully enjoying my time with my family. And that gives me peace about starting my own family when the time is right. I know not all women are lucky enough to have a mother like I had, and I took that for granted sometimes. But now I can look back on SO many good memories, and even though the grief is still there, I can smile, too.
This is verging on rambling now, but anyway...I'm excited to see what's in store next. Because I do have a church family now...and as much as they help me, I hope I can return the favor.
When we moved to Lawrence, I'd hoped that I would find something similar. We churched shopped infrequently, just whenever the mood hit. Found a couple of places that were full of good people, but again the fit didn't seem quite right. We gave up until May, when I happened to see an ad for a new church on Facebook. What caught my eye immediately was "no weird stuff" advertised on EastLake's website. How people communicate with God is a completely individual decision, but I have to admit I am not comfortable with hand raising, judgment, boring (to me) hymns, pomp and circumstance, shouting pastors, speaking in tongues...it's just not me. I was fighting an inner battle of years of being wary of "crazy" Christians and my desire to get to know God. After a couple of services I was hooked. The songs are awesome-no boring hymns, but loud Christian rock where I can sing without worrying someone will hear me. ;) The sermons are even better. Matt is funny, personable, and the topics teach me something every single week and help me take practical steps so I can grow in my faith.
After a couple of times going to EastLake I decided to jump into a growth group. It's like a small group they do 3 times a year, doesn't have to be study related though. Some are just hanging out and having a beer, playing basketball...there's something for everyone. I felt a tug to join a particular group that was studying an Anne Lamott book since she was one of my mom's favorite authors-I'd actually downloaded a book on an ereader that we were going to read together before she passed away. I didn't know why God was telling me to do this particular group, but I just decided to listen. I'm so glad I did. Although the book had some really poignant, funny, memorable passages that helped me really think about some things, what this group gave me was that they helped me deal with my mom's death and talk about it openly. Before EastLake I didn't really have anyone in Lawrence I could talk about it with. My dad and sister are in NC, and we talk on the phone all the time, but sometimes you just need face to face interaction. They might not know it, but they helped me realize something I'd been too scared to admit: that because losing my mom hurt so much, I doubted whether I even wanted to have children because what if someday this happens to me? How could I put my children through the pain I'm feeling? But they asked me if somehow, if my mom would have known in advance what was going to happen to her, if she would have decided not to have children, what did I think she would do? I answered immediately that she would have still had us, because we loved each other so, so much and had so many wonderful happy years together. And I can't put my life on hold because of the possibility of something bad happening. Mom would have wanted me to live each day without regret, fully enjoying my time with my family. And that gives me peace about starting my own family when the time is right. I know not all women are lucky enough to have a mother like I had, and I took that for granted sometimes. But now I can look back on SO many good memories, and even though the grief is still there, I can smile, too.
This is verging on rambling now, but anyway...I'm excited to see what's in store next. Because I do have a church family now...and as much as they help me, I hope I can return the favor.
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